Jen and Tilly - Will Love Tear Them Apart?
by Babyjamo
Summary: Picking up the story from when Jelly were last on our screens at the end of January 2013. My take on what happens next.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. My first attempt at this so probably a bit rubbish!**

**TILLY**

"Fuck". The word came out of Tilly's mouth as the REALISATION of her exclusion hit home. She walked out of the college front door and through the car park her mind swimming with questions. What on earth was she going to say to her parents? They would go mental at her, and probably ground her for the rest of her life …..whatever that would be now! Tears formed in her eyes. She stopped walking and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath she tried to compose herself. It felt like the world was spinning around her. She took another deep breath and reached out for a wall to steady herself.

Tilly's education meant the world to her, everyone knew that. The number of nights out with Maddie and George that she had missed as she stayed in studying, finishing coursework. And now for what? She had worked so hard to make her dream of being a doctor come true, and should have been finishing in just a couple of months. Against her parents wishes she had recently declined the offer she had received from Cambridge University, having decided that she would be happier studying medicine in London. She had to admit that her relationship with Jen had played a part in her decision as they had talked about Jen leaving Hollyoaks and getting a job in London. HA! Tilly thought. Well that wouldn't be happening now would it. Jen. Tilly opened her eyes and looked up into the sky and took another deep breath. Her heart felt broken. She just couldn't get her head around what had just happened. She replayed the scene with Keeler in his office where she had stood stunned in silence as he listed the accusations Miss Gilmore had made against her. It was all such a mess.

What happened with Esther was terrible. It had really made Tilly question herself and the person that she had become. She felt so guilty that she hadn't seen how low Esther had been feeling. Sure Jen had behaved badly, but Tilly knew deep down that she had taken out some of her frustration on Jen by calling off the relationship. Jen should have said something that night at the Folly, but the bottom line was that Esther was Tilly's friend, not Jen's and it was Tilly mistake. She had not seen the bullying that had been going for months. No that was a lie. She had seen it, but she had just ignored it and not challenged Maddie, Ruby or Sinead, preferring to stay out of it. The bullying had been going on for months, long before Jen and her had kissed in the art room, and so there was no one else to blame but herself.

Tilly looked down and saw she had her art portfolio in her hand. All those amazing hours spent in the art room with Jen, exchanging secret glances and smiles. Where had it all gone wrong? It had been a shock when they had kissed again for the first time in months, but it felt so right after months of missing her and the pain Tilly had been through following the crash and losing Maddie, Neal and Jono. Jen had made her feel safe. Loved. It had all come crashing down so quickly it all felt like a bad dream.

Splitting up with Jen because she was angry at herself was not the answer, but what Jen had done was unbelievable. How could she have gone to Keeler and told those lies?

Tilly finally felt strong enough to walk again and headed over to a bin. She slowly opened the portfolio case and one by one threw the pictures in the bin. Tears rolled down her face. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her and crushed. Again she could hardly breath, but she carried on ripping up the photos, paintings, and drawings. She remembered how Jen had stood behind her as she drew giving her advice on how to improve her work. Occasionally she would brush her had over Tilly's, or place it gently on her shoulder. A secret signal between the two of them that would make Tilly blush.

The very last picture in the folder was the one she had done of Jen. Tilly paused at a drawing of Jen before turning her head towards the college one last time. She saw Jen standing at the window and turned away not wanting to see her lying face a second longer. Her fingers slowly started ripping the paper, all the way down the middle of Jen's beautiful face, until the picture was in two. The feeling of hate came flooding in. She had ruined Tilly's life in order to save her career. "Bitch" Tilly said out loud and slowly began ripping the drawing in half before throwing into the bin. She then turned on her heels and began the slow walk home to face the music and try and work out what she was going to do with her life.

Jen stood at the window and watched as Tilly stopped by the bin and took out her portfolio folder and then one by one, ripped up her coursework. Drawing by drawing, picture by picture.

**JEN**

"Fuck". The word came out of Jen's mouth as the REALISATION of her actions hit her like a sledgehammer. "What have I done?" she said out loud as a tear formed in the corner of her eye and started to roll down her cheek. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the window, grateful for the coldness on her skin as the feeling of sickness started to rise in her stomach.

Jen's head was buzzing as she replayed the conversation with Tilly. Keeler's expelled her. Because of her. Because of what Jen told him. Her lies. Oh God. What a mess.

Jen had been so upset that Tilly had given up on them after Esther had tried to kill herself. The past few months had been so hard for Jen as she had tried her hardest to ignore her feelings for Tilly and pretend that their relationship was just that of a teacher and her pupil. After the crash, Jen had wanted to rush to Tilly and scoop her in her arms, stroke her hair and beautiful face and tell her that everything would be OK. When she had heard from Diane about the crash she had been physically sick at the thought of Tilly being hurt, or worse….being dead. She really was an amazing young woman, so intelligent and confident and caring, funny and loving not to mention super sexy. But Jen knew she had no right to do that having called the relationship off in the summer. As much as Jen wanted Tilly, she had to wait for Tilly to decide if she wanted Jen. So Jen had stood by and watch Tilly grieve for her dead friends, all the time resisting the urge to tell her how she felt in the hope of being able to hold and kiss her again.

When they had finally kissed again recently Jen was over the moon. All those months of longing and waiting were over. She had her Tilly back and things were going to be different this time. Jen really did love her, but then the awful tragedy of Esther happened and things had gone wrong so quickly. Jen had replayed that night at the Folly over and over again in her head, wishing she had said something to Esther had made sure she was OK and not left her there. Tilly was right to be angry with her, but why did it have to be the end of them? Jen had cried herself to sleep for a week after Tilly had decided that they were bad people together and ended the relationship.

Jen opened her eyes and saw Tilly standing by the bin, throwing away all of her coursework. Tilly was one of the best artists in her class was on line for getting an A* in her A-level in just a couple of months….. well she had been! Jen wiped the tears from her face and turned away from the window as he mind raced. She had made a massive mistake going to Keeler, but she had never expected him to expell Tilly. She had done it to protect herself and to send a warning message to Tilly who had broken her heart by breaking up with her.

Jen shouldn't had been so childish. She had ruined poor Tilly's future. How could she have done that to someone she loved? She had to do something to fix this. FAST! She grabbed her bag off her desk and started running down the hallway back to Mr Keeler's office. As she ran she realised she didn't know exactly what she was going to say to him, but she just knew she had to fix it. She couldn't ruin Tilly's life as much as she was scared about her own career.

Keeler had looked at Jen suspiciously as she had sat there and explained that it had all been a big mistake and that she had got the wrong end of the stick. Jen made up a story about how Tilly had had her phone stolen and so she hadn't been sending the text messages or emails and that it must have been a prank by someone else at the college. No harm was done, and that Jen really should have checked with Tilly first before bringing this issue to his attention. It was all a silly misunderstanding, and that she didn't think it was right that such a bright student was punished wrongly. Keeler didn't look completely convinced. He stood staring out of his office window, thinking through the options. After what seemed like a lifetime to Jen, he finally mumbled something about removing the needed for a lot of paperwork on his part, and how it would look good to have one of their students get into Cambridge after all. He turned to Jen and explained that this was not acceptable behavior and gave her a lecture on the correct procedures for dealing with situations like this. Jen was apologetic and reassured him that she had learnt from her mistake and that he was making the right decision and how she'd better go so she could inform Tilly that the decision had been over ruled.

Jen ran out of the office, as a feeling of immense relief rushed over her. Sure, Tilly still hated her and their relationship was ruined, but at least Tilly still had a chance of following her dream of being a doctor. Jen reached into her bag and pulled out her mobile phone and quickly dialed Tilly's number.

The phone went straight to voicemail **"****_Hey. It's Tills here. I'm clearly dead busy right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can"_**

Jen hung up. Of course she wouldn't answer a call from her as she probably never wanted to speak to her again in her life. Jen thought for a second and then started typing a text message. **_Talked to Keeler – It's OK. You are no longer expelled. Need to talk to you. X Jen _**

Jen pressed the send button and then closed her phone and let out a massive sigh.


	2. Chapter 3

Tilly walked back from the kitchen with her cup of coffee and just as she was about to plop herself back on the sofa for some Jeremy Kyle (nothing like laughing at other peoples problems to make you feel better!) when she spotted the brown padded envelop on the door mat. She walked over and picked it up turning it over thinking it must be for her dad, until she saw Jen's handwriting and her name on the front.

Tilly considered throwing it straight in the bin. She considered it for all of two seconds, but acknowledging that she wanted to know what was inside too much. She walked back over to the sofa and switched off the TV. She slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the contents of the package. There was a beautiful photo of Crosby beach that she had never seen before that she assumed Jen had taken. It was where it all started really. The day trip to see the Gormley sculptures on the beach, where they had laughed and teased each other like old friends, not like complete strangers that they were at the point. And then there was the kiss. Jen had pulled Tilly into her and kissed her for 3 or 4 seconds, but that was all it took for Tilly to know she was in love.

Tilly shook her head to bring her back to reality. As well as the photo there was a I-pod Nano and some earphones and a small white envelop with the words READ ME written on them. Tilly's heart was racing. She took a large gulp of coffee and then put the earplugs in and pressed play. The first song was Try by Pink. Tilly listened to the lyrics

"_**Ever wonder about what he's doing. How it all turned to lies. Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why"**_

Tilly picked up the smaller envelop and as she looked down at the writing she felt her heart skip a beat. She wasn't sure what she should do for the best. Her heart was telling her to do one thing whilst her head was screaming at her DON'T DO IT! THROW IT AWAY. NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT.

"_**Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned. But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die. You gotta get up and try and try and try"**_

The music made her mind up for her as she slide her finger into the folder of the envelope and opened the letter.

'_To my darling Tilly._

_Please don't hate me for calling you that, for you are to me. You will always be my darling Tilly. I know I've messed up (AGAIN!), all I ask is that you take ten minutes of your time to read this letter. To give me a chance to explain why I did what I did and just how much you mean to me.'_

'_My life has never been the same since that very first day when I met you Tilly Evans. Sometimes it's been amazing. Sometimes it's been terrible. But I wouldn't change a thing. I know that might be strange thing to say given all that has happened, but let me explain.'_

'_I've never told you this before, as it's not something that I find easy to talk about, but when I was 11 my mum walked out on my dad, Liam and me. She was having an affair with some guy at work, and so one day decided that she no longer wanted the family life and ran off with him, without sparing a second though for us.'_

'_I was devastated. It took me a long time to accept that you shouldn't stay together for the sake of your children, but the way she did it. It hurt me so much Tilly. I felt rejected by my own mother at a time in my life when I needed her the most.'_

Tilly paused from the letter and wiped a tear that had formed in her eye. The song on the I-pod was Marcus Foster 'I was Broken". Tilly had never heard it before, but could tell that the lyrics clearly meant a lot to Jen. She took another swig of coffee and returned her eyes to the letter….

'_I'd just started secondary school and had all the peer pressure of school - boys, make up, turning into a woman, periods, spots and I didn't have anyone to talk to about these things. I found school really difficult as I was struggling with my sexuality, coming to terms with these 'strange feelings' I had towards girls. Obviously I couldn't say anything to my dad as he had his own day-to-day worries having to bring us up on his own, so I developed certain mechanisms for coping with my feelings. Liam went off the rails a bit and whilst I didn't do anything bad in that sense I just floated through school never really enjoying it.'_

'_When it came to doing my A-levels I managed to convince my dad to let me move to the local 6__th__ Form college. This is where things changed for me. It was a fresh start. I started college with a clean slate and I was determined to make the most of the opportunity I had been given. I had come out to my dad and Liam by the time and had my first girlfriend and started enjoying life for the first time since my mum left.'_

'_I'm sure you are wondering what this has to do with what I did to you the other day, and this is the hard bit. I mentioned earlier that I developed coping mechanisms to deal with situations. One of these mechanisms was to always make sure I protected my heart so that no one would be able to hurt me again like my mum had all those years ago. Over the years, I 'successfully' managed to have relationships without really fully opening myself up and risking getting hurt.'_

Tilly paused to get her breath. She closed her eyes and listed to the song that was now playing on the playlist – U2 With or Without You. It was one of Tilly's favourite songs. So emotional. Tilly opened her eyes and carried on reading….

'_That was until I met you Tilly Evans. You with the most amazing blue eyes that make me melt inside every time I look….looked… at them. The softest lips in the world that I want to kiss all day long, the smoothest skin I have ever felt and the kindest heart. I couldn't believe my luck when I saw you at the art exhibition, and then again the following day. I just had to have you. I had to spend more time with you. And then when we kissed…. Well that was it. I was hooked.'_

'_There was one MASSIVE problem. The fact that I'm your teacher. I should have walked away earlier at the hospital all those months ago, but I couldn't. I was in love with you and I've been fighting that feeling every day ever since. I worked so hard at college and at Uni to get a good degree, every time I looked at you whilst my heart was doing somersaults, my head was there reminding me that I was your teacher that it wasn't worth my career and all the hard work.'_

'_At the beginning of this letter I said that I wouldn't change a thing ….. even though I have caused us so much pain over the months. The reason why I say this is that without that pain I don't think I would have finally accepted just how much you mean to me. I have tried SO hard to resist you. To do the sensible thing, and going to see Keeler the other day and having you expelled was an action driven out of pure panic. Does that make sense? I'm totally in love with you Tilly Evans, and that scares the life out of me because I can't stop myself from getting hurt again. You have the power to make me feel like an 11 year insecure, lonely teenager all over again.'_

_It's not an excuse for what I did, but it's an explanation. Tilly, you broke my mechanism and I panicked for which I am truly, truly sorry._

'_I know I've blown it with us. I pushed you away one too many times, but I HAD to let you know how much you mean to me. Why I acted the way I did and my reasons for doing the things I have done. I need to work on a few issues and maybe should see a counselor for help with dealing with some of the issues/baggage I have. You have made me face up to them and how I need to have more trust in people and open up more.'_

'_I've decided that I need to leave Hollyoaks and start a fresh somewhere new. So once the term is over I'll been moving on. Keeller insisted that I stop teaching you, so we shouldn't have to see each other too much from now until the end of term. I hope in time that you can forgive me and that when you think back of our time together it isn't with complete regret and who knows, maybe one day, just maybe we could be friends again. After all, they say good doctors are hard to find these days, and I know you will be the best!'_

_I hope you like the photo – this place will always be our place to me. _

_All my love_

_Jen x_

The last song on the play list was a song called In the Sun by James Arthur and had Tilly in floods of tears. Her head was spinning trying to absorb all what Jen had told her and working out what she should do. Head over heart?


	3. Chapter 5

**Thank you for those of you who have taken the time to read my little story about Jen and Tilly. I think as Jelly fans all over the country for the outcome of the show, we've sat and made our own stories up as to how it should work out. This is my stab at Jen and Tilly. I'm not the most creative person and you can tell in my writing, but it's cool to think that some people out there are reading it... and even liking it! :)**

Will try and write some more later on.

**TILLY**

Tilly ran upstairs and jumped in the shower. Her heart was pounding at the sudden urgency she felt to see Jen. She had hidden away for two days. Ignoring any attempts by her friends or parents to meet up/engage in conversation, and now all of a sudden she knew what she needed to do. The thought of Jen leaving Hollyoaks, of never seeing that beautiful face again, had snapped her out of the spell she had been in. Having nearly been expelled had sent her into a sort of state of shock that she hadn't really escaped until now. As she stood under the shower letting the warm water pour over her face, she felt alive again. She felt like she was taking control of the situation. Jen's letter had been the wake up call she had needed. They had to decide once and for all if they as a couple could work.

Tilly quickly got dressed and then walked over to Jen's. She knew Sinead was out with George, so she was hoping that Jen would be there alone so they could talk. Say all that they needed to say to each other. Taking a deep breath Tilly knocked on the door.

Diane opened the door "Oh Hiya love. Happy Easter! Come in it's freezing out there". Tilly hadn't really noticed the temperature on the walk over, but now Diane had mentioned it she was freezing! "Thanks Diane" Tilly said as she walked into the house. "Sinead is out at the mo with George, but she is due back any minute now. Do you want to wait and have a cup of tea with me? I think I've got some hot cross buns as well somewhere" Diane smiled at Tilly and Tilly accepted the offer. All the time taking in the surroundings, looking for clues as to Jen's whereabouts.

Diane moved over to the kitchen and started filling up the kettle. "It's nice to have a bit of company as I've been all alone this morning". Tilly's ears pricked up at this new piece of information…. "Oh…..ummm… is Miss Gilmore out then?" Tilly had asked in what she hoped was a normal voice and that she had managed to hide her disappointment. Diane turned round to face Tilly and nodded her head towards a piece of paper with Jen's handwriting stuck on the fridge under a magnet of Abersoch beach "yeah she was up bright and early this morning. She announced that she had decided to go away for Easter. Staying at some cottage in the Lake District" As Diane attention turned back to the task of making the tea, Tilly struggled for something to say to fill the void… "errr well I hear its meant to be beautiful there".

Her mind was racing. She had not expected Jen to have gone away, but then it was Easter after all. Diane walked over to where Tilly was sitting and handed her a mug of steaming tea "I guess, but it's a bit of a lonely place to go on your own isn't it. I mean I love Easter. Getting together with the family….eating all that chocolate!" She laughed to herself and pushed a plate of hot cross buns towards Tilly. Tilly smiled. So Jen had gone away on her own. The Lake District was what about two hours away from Hollyoaks. Tilly looked at her watch as Diane chatted in the background about her favourite easter egg, as Tilly's mind hatched a plan.

Tilly finished up her tea and started to get up from where they were sitting "Errr actually I've just remembered I have to do something for my mum, so I'd better get going." Diane looked a little surprised "Are you sure love? Do you want me to text Sinead and find out how much longer she will be?" Tilly picked up her and Diane's empty mugs and started walking towards the kitchen sink "Errr…. No, it's fine thanks. I'll catch up with her later on. Thanks very much for the tea and cake." Diane was flicking through a magazine and she kept her eyes on the pictures of some celeb on a beach with her new boyfriend "You're welcome Tilly. As I said, it was nice to have some company". Tilly placed the mugs in the sink and then picked up the carton of milk that was on the kitchen worktop. She walked to the fridge to put it away and then after checking the coast was clear, grabbed the piece of paper with the cottage address on it and shoved it into her jean pocket.

PHEW! She had got it. She turned and started walking towards the door picking up her coat along the way. "Well you have a good Easter Tilly" Diane had said as she stood up from the sofa and walked over to the door to see her guest out "I'll let Sinead know you called". "Thanks" Tilly had responded and smiled before she left the house. Her hand in her jean pocket gripping tightly to the piece of paper with Jen's location. She looked at her phone to check the time. If she hurried, she could be in the Lakes by 5pm. She put her phone away and started to run home.


	4. Chapter 7

**Thanks everyone for continuing to read my little story and for your comments. Keep the comments coming... I think it's getting to the crunch time now. It's a sad day today now that it's official that the character Jen is leaving Hollyoaks for good. It's a shame the producers didn't decided to give Jen and Tilly a happier ending. Oh well, we always have fanfiction :)**

**TILLY**

Tilly had rushed home. Threw some clothes into a bag, grabbed her purse and then picked up her parents car keys and a road atlas. As Tilly set off she realised how bad the weather had got and that driving up to the Lakes in the snow maybe wasn't the most sensible decision she had ever made, but once she had realised she needed to see Jen, not going wasn't an option. Tilly had one small doubt in her mind as she thought back to the words in Jen's letter. Yes she had said that she loved Tilly, but she also said that she was planning on leaving and making a fresh start. Maybe Jen had already decided once and for all that the relationship with Tilly was just too hard. There had after all been so much heartache… for both of them.

Being the practical one, Tilly pulled over to the side of the road and grabbed her phone. She didn't want to make the journey only to be turned away by Jen so decided to send a text to Jen to let her know she was coming to see her. Tilly held her phone in her hand and looked at the previous message from Jen in which she had asked to see her. Tilly had ignored this request. She hoped it wasn't too late. She started typing the message _**Jen I'm coming to find you. T x **_ Tilly pressed send and put her phone away, feeling better that she had at least warned Jen. If she didn't want to see Tilly then she would text back and Tilly would turn the car around and head back home.

After driving in heavy snow for an hour or so, Tilly stopped at a garage for some supplies. It was taking a lot longer than she had thought and she didn't think she would get there until at least 9pm. Tilly ran into the garage and grabbed some water, a can of Red Bull and a packet of Rolo's. She remembered the saying.. 'Do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo?' Would she be giving Jen her last one after they had talked? She didn't know, but she couldn't wait to find out.

She was in the car in total for 4 hours! The heater was on full blast, but she was still pretty cold. As she got nearer to the village where the cottage was, the snow got heavier and she could feel the temperature drop. Tilly had taken it slowly on the country roads and judging by the road atlas she was now just a few miles for the cottage. A few miles from Jen. She felt her throat tighten at the thought of seeing Jen. She had been working out what she would say to Jen on the drive up, changing her mind a dozen times. Jen had never texted her back, which Tilly took to mean that she wanted Tilly to come. Still wanted to see and talk to her. No news was good news after all right?

After a couple of wrong turns she finally found the road where the cottage was and saw Jen's jeep parked outside. Tilly observed the cottage through car window and thought how perfect it looked in the snow. The curtains were closed, but she could see a light was on in the living room and she saw a small line of white smoke coming from the chimney which indicated a fire. Tilly shivered as the car had quickly cooled down once the engine had been switched off. She took a deep breath and composed herself before opening the car door and walking towards the cottage.

**JEN**

Knock, Knock. Jen opened her eyes with a startle at the sound of the knocking. She was confused forgetting where she was before she realised she must have fallen asleep in front of the fire. She hadn't been sleeping well since the whole Esther thing and tiredness had clearly caught up with her. Jen looked at the dying fire in the fireplace and the untouched cheese and glass of wine. She must have been tired! Not like her to leave cheese and wine she thought to herself. She was lying there rubbing her neck which was a bit stiff from the position she had fallen asleep in, when the noise came again KNOCK, KNOCK. Oh god, Jen realised there was someone at the door and the noise had woken her up. She quickly jumped up, pulling her hair up into a ponytail as she walked towards the front door. She looked at her watch 9.20pm. Who on earth could it be? The house was detached and the nearest other house was a good 10 minutes away. The owner had met Jen at the house when she had arrived and given her a tour of the property and the key. The owner explained that she was going away herself that evening so Jen knew it was her.

Jen smoothed down her clothes and then opened the door and saw Tilly standing there shivering in the snow. Jen's mouth dropped open as she took in the sight in front of her. How? What? Oh my god! She stood there in silence trying to absorb the fact that Tilly was standing in front of her. Was she still dreaming? But then Tilly spoke….

" Hi". Jen remained silent, still in shock. Tilly spoke again " Ummm … Jen, any chance I could come in? It's bloody freezing out here!" Tilly rubbed her arms and jogged on the spot. Jen finally broke out of her dumb state and finally spoke "Oh god, yes. yes of course Tilly ….. umm god I'm sorry …..come in…come in quick, you must be frozen." Jen stepped out of the way and ushered Tilly into the cottage and closed the door behind her.

Jen watched Tilly as she stepped into the hallway and kicked her shoes together to get the snow off them. It was pretty deep out there and was still coming down. Jen took Tilly's coat with saying anything and moved to put it on a hook next to hers. The sight of Tilly's coat next to hers made her smile. Tilly was really here. WOW!

Jen turned back to Tilly who was standing in the hallway still shivering. Jen moved towards her and rubbed her hands up and down Tilly's arms in order to warm her up. "You're absolutely frozen" Jen said, deliberately not looking into Tilly's eyes as she said it. "Come into the living room and sit in front of the fire. It's just gone out, but I'll have it up and roaring in no time." Jen watched as Tilly smiled. Those lips! Those perfect, plump lips.

Jen started walking into the living room in order to regain her composure with Tilly following behind, the warm of the room was noticeable and Jen walked straight over to the log basket and busied herself in getting the fire up and going again. There were still some glowing embers from the previous fire and as Jen blew on them and added some kindling her mind started working overtime. How did Tilly find her? How had she got here? What did she want? What did it all mean? Questions, questions, questions. Jen turned around and looked at Tilly sitting on the sofa and felt her stomach flip just looking at her. Jen felt the sensation of desire wash over her. That heavy aching feeling you get when you want something…someone… so much that it hurts.


	5. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but hope it's going the way you wanted? Next one will be longer! **

Tilly walked over to where Jen was standing sobbing uncontrollably, and without saying a word pulled her into her arms. Jen's sobs intensified as she felt the warmth of Tilly's body. As she felt Tilly's hand leave her back and start gently stroking the back of her head. "Jen" Tilly said breaking the silence, " it's OK Jen shhhhhh" "it's OK... Shhhhhh" The two of them stood there by the fire rocking slightly as Tilly hugged Jen with all her might. Jen pulled away slightly and started wiping her eyes and tear stained face with the back of her hand and the sleeve of her cardigan, trying to gain some composure.

Tilly lifted her hand up to Jen's face and tenderly wiped away a tear. Tilly for the first time this evening allowed herself to look directly into Jen's eyes. Those deep brown eyes that swallowed her up every time she looked into them. Tilly had learned very quickly that Jen's emotions were shown through her eyes. Tilly knew that even when she was telling her it was over, her eyes were deceiving her by showing Jen's true feelings. Those eyes were dangerous! They were like pools of melted chocolate that you wanted to dive into.

Tilly held Jen's face in her hands and without breaking their gaze said "I love you Jen Gilmore. I love you with all my heart... My heart that has been broken too many times by you, but I... I still love you. I understand you better now. Understand why you push me away the way you do. I don't like it, ... But I understand that you don't know how to stop."

Jen interrupted "Tilly I want to stop SO very much! I don't ever, ever want to hurt you again... I won't ever hurt you again... I...I need to have more trust that not everyone I love will leave me... Take the risk of opening up, otherwise I just end up losing them... you!" Jen paused for a second, before placing her hand up to Tilly's cheek "Tilly, my love for you scares me so much. I know...I know that might sound a contradiction...given what has happened recently, but I have loved you from the very first moment I saw you at the exhibition. From the very first kiss... And it's just grown and grown ever since." Jen closed her eyes for a few seconds before she opened them and looked straight into Tilly's eyes and said "tell me, please tell me it's not too late?"

Tilly felt the surge of love within her intensify. Of course it wasn't too late. She was head over heels in love with Jen... Even more so now that she understood a bit more about why Jen did the things she did to protect herself. Tilly stared back into those eyes and just about managed to whisper the words "it's not too late" before her lips were kissing Jen's lips.


	6. Chapter 11

Jen and Tilly laid in each others arms as they caught their breath. Tilly stroked Jen hair whilst trying to regain some sort of normality. Her orgasm had been so fierce she had lost all her senses for a moment as Jen's touch released the desire that had built up. The woman was just so incredibly sexy. As if Jen could read Tilly's thoughts she let out a small laugh "That was fucking AMAZING! I'm still shaking". Tilly squeezed Jen in her arms and whispered into her ear "Wanna shake some more?" And turned to Jen with a seductive grin on her face. Biting her bottom lip as she looked at Jen's eyes which widened at the thought. Tilly knew the answer and planted a soft, gentle kiss on Jen's lips whilst stroking the side of her face as Jen let out a loud moan.

Second time round they made love slowly. Taking their time with each other. Stroking, sucking, licking, playfully biting parts of each others body. Neck, fingers, earlobes, stomach, inner thighs, nipples... no body part was left untouched. Their orgasms were different second time round...but none the less enjoyable. By the time they had finished, the fire had gone out and it was nearly midnight. Jen jumped up off the floor and pulled Tilly up so they were standing in the middle of the living room naked. "Wow - I had no idea of the time! I don't know about you, but after the workout, I'm starving!" Tilly smiled and responded "I had no idea your limbs went in those positions!" Jen responded "me neither... I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow". They both smiled and Tilly said "well I guess we'll just have to stay here then won't we" running the back of her hand up the side of Jen's naked body. Jen grabbed her hand to stop it before it wondered somewhere it shouldn't "stop it! You'll get me going again and I can barely stand now as it is." She smiled at Tilly and kissed her lips to avoid Tilly feeling any sense of rejection. Jen would have loved to have let Tilly carry on, but she meant what she said about being starving. Neither of them had eaten since they had left Hollyoaks hours ago.

As they pulled on their clothes, it was agreed that Jen would make them a snack to eat and Tilly would go out to her car and bring her bag in and then make another fire. Despite the long drive and then strenuous 'workout' neither of them were tired. They had too much to discuss!

Tilly opened the door and was greeted by at least 2ft of snow. "Shit!" She eventually managed to make it to her car and grabbed her bag before wading her way back to the cottage. It was still snowing and if it carried on there was a serious chance they the may be stuck there. Whilst the thought initially pleased Tilly .. I mean who wouldn't want to be stranded with someone as beautiful and sexy as Jen she thought, a small panic then came into her head over how she would explain her whereabouts to her mum and dad. They were due back the day after tomorrow and Tilly needed to have the car back in Hollyoaks by then or else she would be in serious trouble. Even though her and Jen had decided to give it another go, their situation hadn't changed. Jen was still a teacher and they had to be so careful when they were back home.

Jen was busy in the kitchen making some pasta with a fresh pesto sauce. She loved cooking, but didn't do it so much since she had been sharing with Diane and Sinead. She pictured herself in a flat of her own with a huge kitchen where she could bake and cook as much as she liked and in the picture was Tilly. Jen smiled as she realised she was daydreaming like a teenage girl, but she couldn't help it. Couldn't help but get excited about the future. It wasn't going to be easy, and Jen promised herself she would start seeing a therapist to work through her issues relating back to her childhood, but she wanted it so much it had to work.

"Jen, have you seen how much snow is out there?" Tilly said interrupting Jen's thoughts..."I don't think I've ever seen so much snow" Tilly added as she brushed the snow off her hair and kicked off her wet boots. She walked into the kitchen and smiled to herself at the site of Jen in an apron chopping up fresh basil for the pasta and joked "wow look at you! Has anyone ever told you'll make someone a great housewife one day" Jen turned round and grabbed a tea cloth off the counter and threw it in Jen's direction laughing as she added "well if you play your cards right Miss Evans you never know!" They held each others gaze for a moment, revealing in the playfulness of the conversation. "Now come here and give me kiss. I mean ... It's been all of what? 5 minutes since my last one... I'm getting Tilly withdrawal symptoms" Tilly smiled and walked over to where Jen was standing and gave her a kiss. Well actually it was quite a few kisses. They only stopped when they heard the pasta water start to bubble up over the pan.

They ate their supper sitting on the floor with their backs against the sofa watching the new fire Jen had quickly lit. " cheers" Jen had said raising her wine glass towards Tilly "To us" Tilly responded with a smile. "To the future" Jen added "the future" at which point they took a sip and then started discussing the future. Jen told Tilly of her plans to work on her issues and Tilly explained that it wouldn't be so bad at college as she was soon to be finishing ready for exam study. It would be easier if they didn't have to see each other at college where it would be hard to resist the temptation of each other.


	7. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the delay in posting the next chapter of the story. Been away at a wedding. So in 'real life' Hollyoaks Jen is now an evil bitch who is about to be humiliated and loose her job. I watched the beach scene again yesterday and its really sad how this couple couldn't have worked out for the best. The on screen chemistry was amazing - totally believable. unlike Tilly and Esther. In my opinion Esther seems too childlike for Tilly after Jen! Anyway, will try and post another chapter tonight. **

**TILLY**

Luckily the snow had indeed melted enough off the side roads for Tilly to be able to make the journey home in time for her parents Return. Jen had also decided to leave the cottage, a day early than originally planned, as the place wouldn't have been the same without Tilly there. The two of them followed each other in their cars, stopping at a service station for refreshments and a quick kiss in the toilets! Jen was worried how they would be able to control their urges when they were both back at college, but as they had discussed, they would work it out. They weren't going to risk losing each other again.

As Tilly sat behind the wheel of her car, following Jen's jeep home she started counting the number of days until they would be able to 'come clean'. Tilly would be on exam leave in three weeks time and then the exams would be over in just over two months time. In 71 days time she would have sat her final exam and have officially left Hollyoaks 6th form. She needed to get three A's in order to secure her place at the University College London. Tilly was so excited about going to Uni, especially now that she had decided on London. Sure her parents had been disappointed when she had told them she was going to decline the offer at Cambridge. What parent wouldn't love to be able to boast that their child had been excepted at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. In the end, it was that prestige that turned out to be the thing that put Tilly off. The stuffiness of tradition, of centuries of rituals, rules that needed to be followed or else you were fined! Going to university was partly about learning new life experiences, being able to spread your wings... Not have them clipped!

London - and UCL had instantly felt right. Tilly felt that it would give her a better balance of what she wanted out of Uni. Ucl had amazing facilities, but also, as she was in the heart of London, it didn't mean that everything Tilly did would centre around the Uni. There were so many other options rather than just the Student Union bar. The museums, galleries, theatres, shops, bars, cafes, parks not to mention the gay scene! Tilly just pictured herself in London so much more easily than she did at Cambridge. Cambridge would be fun for a weekend - punting along the river, riding a bike along the narrow streets, enjoying the peace ... Ahhhhh, Tilly thought, there would be plenty of time to do those things later in life. Right now, life was for living!

And living meant being with Jen. Gorgeous Jen Gilmore, her maturer girlfriend who she was following home in the car in front. Home to what, Tilly wasn't quite sure. She had been relieved that the snow had stopped and thawed enough to be able get home before her parents got back from their Easter break, but she was also sad at their time coming to an end. Tilly had discussed the future options with Jen and it was agreed that they would limit the number of occasions they were physically together as much as possible. The very thought of not seeing Jen made Tilly ache, but they had very little option. They had set aside every other weekend in which they would meet, and in between they would Skype each other in the evenings and share each others news. It would, Tilly had said to Jen selling the proposal to her, be the same as a long distance relationship ... Only without the distance! It was also the safest option going, and after the expelled situation, safe was important to them both.

Tilly started to feel sad as the roads started to look familiar and she realised they were only a few miles from home. At a red traffic light she saw Jen look in her rear mirror, back at Tilly and blow a kiss. Tilly pretended to grab the kiss, and place it on her own lips. She was about to return the gesture, when a honk of a horn from a car behind them, alerted them both to the fact that the lights had changed, and they continued their journey home to Hollyoaks.

**JEN**

Jen stopped the car around the corner from the minimart and pulled on the hand break. Looking in her rear view mirror, she watched as Tilly pulled up behind her. Jen grabbed her phone and sent Tilly a text message:

**_I miss you already, but I know we HAVE to... and CAN do this! Love you so much Tilly Evans. X_**

Jen's eyes never left the rear view mirror as she watched Tilly tap a response. Her phone buzzed as the message from Tilly came through:

**_I love you too. It's been an amazing Easter, I'll just have to use my imagination and memories to get me through all the lonely nights!_**

Jen smiled and quickly tapped:

_**Errrr... who said your nights would be lonely? The power of Skype! :) I may not be there in person, but my words will be**_. Jen did a quick check of her surroundings to make sure no one was around, before she quickly pulled her top down over her shoulder so that her bra and a good portion of her breast was on show, before tacking a picture. She added this to her text message with the sentence:

**... Words, AND images :oO!**

She pressed send and then watched Tilly's face respond with delight as she read the message.

_**Ohhh two can play that game**_, came the response and the picture attached was an old one of Tilly in a bikini, clearly taken from abersoch. Jen opened the message and felt a surge of desire, and when she looked back in the rear mirror she was Tilly wink at her. This was getting dangerous Jen thought, but she didn't want it to end.

_**Wow**_ - Jen responded - _**you are so sexy. Meet me tonight at the shack 8pm. Not sure I'm ready just yet for our cyber sex dates...I need the real thing ... to be able to touch what's under the bikini! X **_

_**Can't wait**_ came the response. With that Jen turned on her engine and drove home back to Diane's and Sinead's. It was 4pm. She had four hours to kill before she got to kiss, touch, taste Tilly again. The thought made Jen blush with excitement. Roll on 8pm.


	8. Chapter 14

Jen arrived at shack at 7.45pm, not able to wait any longer. The flirting and teasing text messages had gone on all evening, and Jen was already so turned on before she had even seen Tilly. She thought she would probably come as soon as Tilly kissed her, let alone touched her!

Two minutes later Tilly burst through the door her face breaking into a huge smile as she saw Jen standing by the sofa. "Couldn't wait either huh?" Tilly laughed.

"Fuck no!" Said Jen as she reached out and grabbed Tillys hands to pull her towards her. She smelt amazing Jen thought as she ran her hand over her head and down the side of her face. "Me neither" Tilly whispered into Jen's ear as she started kissing her neck, shoulder, lips. The intensity of their kisses showed the desire that their texting had created and as predicted Jen could feel the start of her orgasm as she felt Tilly's tongue reach her erect nipple. Jen didn't want to come just yet so she pushed Tilly's head away from her breast and breathed heavily

"Not yet" she smiled as Tilly looked back confused. " I wanna see if you've got that bikini on underneath your dress?" And with that Jen lifted Tilly's dress over her head and dropped it on the ground. Tilly wasn't wearing her bikini ... In fact she wasn't wearing anything! Jen let out a small groan as she took in the sight and felt a throb between her legs. She was so damn sexy!

Tilly enjoyed seeing Jen's surprise at the sight of her naked body, and loved the fact that she turned Jen on so much. Jen's hands were all over Tilly's body as they kissed again and the two of them walked together, not breaking their kiss until Tilly was pushed up against the closed door. Tilly liked the fact that she was trapped. She felt the cold hard wood of the door against her back and the warm soft touch of Jen's hands and mouth on her front. She felt herself go wet as Jen playfully played with her pubic hair ... But not yet touching the part of Tilly that ached to feel Jen's fingertips. Tilly felt her legs buckle slightly as Jen's fingers teased ... "Jen you can't do this to me" Tilly pleaded as she closed her eyes and buried her head into Jen's neck, playfully biting down on her shoulder at which point she heard Jen groan with pleasure.

Jen knew that Tilly, like herself, was near to explosion point. She decided the teasing had lasted long enough and dropped to her knees and buried her head into Tilly's hotness. She used her tongue to flick Tilly's clit back and forth, sucking on it every now and then, enjoying the wetness around her mouth. Jen loved how wet Tilly got. it was such a turn on to feel how turned on Tilly had become. the way her nipples went hard as bullets when Jen touched... kissed them. Tilly groaned in pleasure as her orgasm started to kick in. "Oh god...yes Jen... There...there...fuck oh my god... Fuuuuuuck!" The last word came out as a scream as Tilly's body jerked against Jen's body and the door. As she came she pushed Jen's head away as it was all too sensitive. Jen looked up from her kneeling position, happy with the response in Tilly she had created with her tongue. She slowly stood up and wiped Tilly's juice off from the mouth with the back of her hands.

"I'm sorry" Tilly said moving her hand up to Jen's mouth, feeling slightly embarrassed at how wet she got when Jen touched her ... And especially when she kissed her there! "Don't be!" Jen had smiled back. "I love feeling how wet you get. Tasting you"

Tilly pulled Jen towards her and kissed her, her tongue exploring Jen's mouth. In between kisses she whispered "and ... how... wet ... are ...you?" As she moved her hand down to Jen's skirt and lifted it up so she could feel her pants. Tilly felt Jen shudder at her touch and quickly got an answer to her question as she felt the outside of Jen's knickers which were soaked with excitement "oh god" Jen's voice trembled as Tilly's fingertips started rubbing her throbbing mound. She took a sharp intake of breath as Tilly plunged her fingers into Jen. Tilly knew Jen was near and now was not the time for teasing. Tilly stopped kissing Jen and looked into her big, brown eyes as she speeded up her hand and increased the pressure until it was all too much for Jen. Tilly held her gaze as Jen shuddered in her arms as her orgasm finally got it's long awaited release.

They collapsed on the sofa Tilly resting her head in Jen's lap as they regained some strength. Tilly turned her head to look up at Jen who was smiling down at her and said "I love you" Jen lent down and planted a kiss on Tilly's forehead and whispered the words back "I love you too".


	9. Chapter 15

It was four days before Tilly and Jen saw each other again. In that time there had been plenty of text messages exchanged and one or two steamy phone sex sessions from their beds. This time they had exchanged a secret stolen smile when Jen had walked past Tilly and George in the corridor with another teacher. Tilly's stomach had done a flip when she had seen Jen walking towards her, and initially thought about rushing away, but figured that would have looked Werid. So she stayed there pretending to listen to what George was saying, all the time watching Jen until she was out of sight. Watching her hair, so shiny and sleek, bob along as she walked. Watching her eyes light up and a smile form on her face the moment she saw Tilly standing there. The smile which she quickly tried to suppress, but those brown eyes gave it away. Watching her sexy arse as she walked away and into the staff room. Tilly did an imaginary shake of her head to bring her back to reality. A few seconds later, Tilly heard her phone buzz. She looked at the screen to see the name Jane. This was Jen's cover name, in case anyone looked at her phone. _**You look gorgeous in that dress. Can't wait to see you on Saturday. I love you. J x**_

Tilly smiled as she read the message, but put her phone away. She would respond somewhere more private at lunchtime.

Avoiding each other at college had been easier than they had imagined. Obviously it helped that Jen was no longer teaching Tilly art. Tilly had made up some white lie to George, Sinead and Ruby as to why she was switching art class so near her exam... Something about the other art tutor being more experienced in photography... Which was of course a load of rubbish. Jen was an amazing photographer, and Tilly made sure she always carried with her the photo of Crosby beach Jen had sent her in her letter. It was their beach and they were planning on making a trip back real soon.

They had decided to go shopping together in Liverpool - thinking it would be safer than Chester - as Jen wanted to get a new dress for a job interview she had secured in a couple of weeks time at a college in North London. Jen had picked Tilly up at the college gates on Saturday at 11. They resisted the desire to kiss each other until they were well out of the Village. Instead they pulled off the motorway and parked in a lay by for a quick kiss. _"God I've missed you" _Jen had said kissing Tilly's luscious lips. Tilly smiled _"and I've missed you"._ They kissed for about five minutes before Tilly broke from the embrace and gained some composure. _" Now Miss Gilmore. As much as I love... And believe me I mean REALLY LOVE kissing you, this is not going to get you your killer interview outfit now is it?"_ Jen groaned with disappointment as she realised Tilly was right. It sucked that they had to stop kissing, couldn't really touch each other they way they had wanted, but she knew deep down Tilly was right. She sat back in her car seat and switched on the car engine and pulled her seatbelt on before setting off for Liverpool and the shops. Jen comforted herself with the thought that it was better to be with Tilly, than not at all.

They made it to Liverpool and the shopping centre by lunchtime and hit the shops straight away. Jen had promised Diane that she would go to the cinema tonight with her so had to be back by 6. Luckily for them it didn't take them too long to find the perfect outfit. Jen had picked up a dress in Topshop and jacket that went well with it and started walking towards the changing rooms. After a few steps she turned round to look at Tilly who had stayed where they had previously been and was looking at some jeans. Tilly looked up and said absently, _"I wait for you here OK?"_ Jen turned round and grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the changing rooms _" err No actually it's not OK! I think I'm gonna need some help getting in and out of the dress!" _Tilly smiled instantly realising what Jen had in mind and cursed herself for not thinking of it herself! Of course Jen would need a second opinion!

They picked a cubical near the end of the changing room and Tilly leant in for a kiss, pushing Jen up against the mirror, banging Jen's head against it, making a loud thudding noise. _"Everything OK I'm there?" _Came the voice of the shop assistant outside _" Errr... Yes thanks..."_ Jen had mumbled trying to keep Tilly's hand under control. _"Ok well press the button if you need any assistance"_ Jen looked at Tilly who had already unbuttoned Jen's jeans and had her hand down her pants _" Ummm... Will do... Thanks!"_ Jen managed as she thought she had all the assistance she need right now. Tilly knew where to rub and used her spare hand to cover Jen's mouth so she wouldn't be heard when her orgasm took hold. Jen held Tilly tightly more for support than anything as she thought her legs may give way. The phone sex and Video chats had been fun, but it was so unbelievably better in the flesh. Jen did try the dress and jacket on and they both agreed it looked good. Smart, but on trend and the jacket could be worn with jeans for a more casual look. Not wanting to get rumbled, they exited the changing cubical and Jen paid for her items.

_" So now I've got my outfit, how about you Tilly. Do you fancy trying something... on?" _Jen winked at Tilly and the two of them practically ran into H&M where Jen had felt Tilly's wetness instantly. _"Never mind about a new top"_ Jen had whispered into Tilly's ear _" I think we'd better get you some new pants as these are SOO wet!" _And with that Jen had quickly made Tilly come. Tilly didn't bother putting her pants back on and threw them away in a bin on the way out of the shop.

After a couple of hours they had had enough shopping and decide to go for a drink in the gay quarter. they hadn't long been in the bar when Jen had looked up at the entrance of the bar and said "_Shiiiiit_!" as the word left her mouth, she let go of Tilly's hand that she had been holding.

_"What is it Jen"_ Tilly said worriedly as she saw the panic in Jen's face.

_"It's Claire. My ex...Claire. She's just walked in with a group of her friends... Who actually used to be our friends". _

Tilly looked round to the group of people by the door. They all looked super trendy and Tilly Instantly felt her age. She looked at the group and wondered which once was Claire, hoping it was the tall one with long brown hair and an amazing figure.

_"Which one is she?"_ Tilly asked turning back to Jen.

Jen who hadn't stopped looking over at the door since they had come in responded _" Umm... She's the tall one... with the far too low top on for her tits! And ... Oh god... she's coming over"._

Tilly couldn't work out why Jen was reacting the way she was. Did she miss Claire? Was she still in love with her? She had never really spoken about their time together, only that it had been Jen's decision to end the relationship and that Jen hadn't really let Claire in because of her hang ups.

Jen had watched Claire's facial expression change when she had spotted Jen and her companion sitting at a table near there bar. Words were exchanged between Claire and her friends before she started walking over to Jen. Jen hadn't seen her since she had told her that she didn't love her anymore and would be moving out at the end of the week to start a job at Hollyoaks sixth form college. Claire had moved in with friends until Jen had packed and left and now here she was walking towards her in a bar. What would she say?

_"Hi Jen"_ Claire smiled as she stood at their table looking Jen directly in the face _"long time no see. You look well"_. So far so good thought Jen!

_"Hi Claire. I'm good thanks. You ... Umm you look great. You're hair really suits you longer" _

Tilly sat there watching the exchange and hated it. She cleared her throat to remind Jen that she was there. This seemed to work as Jen finally stopped looking at Claire and remembered that Tilly existed _" Oh I'm sorry. Claire this is Tilly. Tilly, this is Claire"_

Tilly stretched her hand out to shake it and was about to say "nice to meet you" when Claire turned towards her and gave her a look of disgust. Tilly withdrew her hand and looked at Jen for support. Jen saw what Claire had done and the need in Tilly's eyes. Jen reached back over the table and held Tilly's hand. Claire laughed _" Wow Jen. What exactly are you teaching these days? The birds and bees?_" Making a point of the age difference. Jen was furious. How dare she speak about Tilly in that way. Jen smiled at Claire and then whilst looking at Tilly said" _actually Claire, Tilly doesn't need any teaching on that subject... She know exactly how to turn me on". _Tilly blushed slightly as she felt Jen squeeze her hand. This seems to do the trick as Claire started turning away from them, but before she left she leant in towards Tilly and hissed _" good luck with that one. She's messed up in the head. Cold as a fish if you ask me. If you let her in she'll only use you, like she did me_". And with that she walked back to the group of friends who had remaind by the front door. Not wanting Claire to have the last word, Tilly leant over the table and planted a kiss on Jen to show Claire that they were stronger than that. Her words couldn't hurt them.


	10. Chapter 16

**Hi. Thanks for the reviews. Can't believe I'm up to chapter 16! Had to rush the last ending of the last chapter, so this one is a short one and finishes things how I initially wanted to. I'm enjoying taking Jen and Tilly's relationship out of Hollyoaks for a bit, to give them a chance. Anyway, I hope you like this one. **

Jen's chest filled up with love for Tilly as she felt her lips on hers, and she automatically returned the kiss. Yes it was partly for Claire to see, and Jen loved Tilly all the more for the fact that she had done that, but Jen also knew that Tilly was sending her a message with that kiss. That Tilly knew it was different this time round for Jen. She knew that Jen loved her more than anyone she had ever loved, and by opening up to her during their time in the cottage, Jen had given Tillynthe reassurance she needed, and in return Tilly was giving Jen the supported she had asked for.

Eventually they pulled their lips apart, but Jen kept staring at Tilly _"I love you_" she whispered. Tilly smiled back at her_ "I know"_. Jen eventually looked over to the door and saw that Claire and the rest of the group had left the bar._ "Tilly, I'm so sorry you got caught up in that! That she spoke to you that way."_ Jen leant over and picked up Tilly's hand before continuing _"We haven't actually seen each other since we split up, and I guess I hurt her more than I thought I had." _

Tilly stroked Jen's hand _"Well I guess I'd be pissed off if you left me too, but I have to say, she isn't the friendliest person I've ever met! I mean what exactly did you see in her?... Aside from her amazing tits!_" Jen laughed at Tilly's comment. It was true, Jen had been pretty smitten with Claire when they had first met at Uni, and they did look hot together, but it was all pretty superficial with Claire. She was doing a marketing degree and it really was all about image with her. In the end, when had realised this side of Claire, it helped with Jen's decision that it wasn't working out and that a fresh start was needed.

Jen responded to Tilly's teasing question with nod and admitted _"OK. You got me. Guilty as charged!" _She held her hands to show it she was surrendering. "It's a fair cop" she held her wrists together in front of her as if Tilly was going to put some handcuffs on her._ "One things for sure, my taste in women has certainly improved"._ She leant over a planted a kiss on Tilly. When they pulled away, Tilly reluctantly said that they had better go if they were to get back in time for Jen to go to cinema with Diane. Jen groaned at the thought, but started gathering her coat and shopping bags.

Jen wished that were able to stay out longer,have a few drinks, dance to some cheesy tunes, spend the evening together, but they had to play it safe. That however, didn't mean that Jen couldn't give Tilly something to think about tonight and so as they left the bar, Jen pulled Tilly into a door well of the building next to the bar and planted a kiss on Tilly's lips. Not giving Tilly the chance to react Jen placed her hand down the front on Tilly's top and started rubbing her nipple. Caught in the moment, they didn't notice the person standing outside a bar on the opposite side of the street smoking a cigarette. The tall, long haired woman took out her phone and started taking pictures of the couple as they got lost in their passion. "Got you!" Claire said aloud to herself as she look red at the pictures of Miss Gilmore and her teachers pet!


	11. Chapter 17

**Next chapter for you. Hope you like? Let me know what you think. **

**JEN**  
Jen had been distracted at the cinema. Thankfully the film was a fluffy romcom, just what Jen needed. Nothing that required too much concentration or played with her emotions too much. She had been distracted partly because she couldn't stop thinking about Tilly and how sexy she was. It was only when a young lad had wolfed whistled at them kissing each others faces off earlier had Jen remembered where she was... realising that getting arrested for indecent behaviour was bad enough, let alone it being with one of her pupils!

She was also reliving her encounter with Claire. Seeing her, and her former friends again today had felt strange. It felt a long time ago, when in fact it was just coming up to a year, when Jen had told Claire it was over and that she was leaving. Claire had asked for reasons as to why, and examples of what she had done wrong, and Jen had even used the old classic 'it's not you, it's me' line at which point Claire had laughed at Jen and agreed with her. Calling her a cold bitch and walking out of the flat they had shared. The truth was that it had never been the 'one', and Jen had hoped that over the time Claire would have realised this. Going on their exchange today, this was clearly not the case. Jen had exchanged a couple of emails with Claire over practicalities of the flat and getting her deposit back and a forwarding address, but they had not seen each other until that day.

They had met each other towards the end of their first years at Uni. One of Claire's friends was having a party and Jen went with someone who knew Claire. Jen had instantly fancied Claire, but assumed she was straight as there was no alarm bells going off on her gaydar! Jen didn't really believe in the whole gaydar thing. Her experience had been that if you liked someone and they liked you, you would be able to tell. For example, as she walked around the art exhibition with Tilly she could tell that she fancied her. So the next day when Jen saw Tilly in the village she took the risk of inviting her along to the beach. Jen wondered what would have happened if Tilly had said no to the invite. They never would have spent that day together, growing closing. Never would have kissed. Jen may never have fallen in love with Tilly. She would have just seen her at school and thought there's that cute girl from the art exhibition and that would have been the end of it. Jen let out a little sigh. Despite everything that had happened, all the pain they had been through, the risk they faced when they met ...Jen was so pleased that Tilly had abandoned her books and jumped into the jeep. Jen's life was so much better for having Tilly in it.

Just then Jen felt her phone in her pocket vibrate with a text message. She didn't bother getting it out as she knew it was Tilly texting her sexy messages. Her phone had been buzzing the whole time she had been in the cinema. She couldn't get the phone out in case Diane saw. Jen smiled at the thought of Tilly all turned on and home alone with no one to play with. Jen looked at her watch - 30 mins and she would be home and would call Tilly to help relieve the frustration she was clearly feeling!

**TILLY**  
Tilly had watched Jen drive away in her jeep after she had dropped Tilly off somewhere safe. Tilly was so turned on thanks to Jen's doorway antics that it was going to be long evening at home with her parents. She had some coursework to do, but knew she wouldn't be able to focus on that in the state that she was in. She decided to go home and have a long soak in the bath and then hope that Jen would Skype her later on in the evening. Tilly had at first been shy having phone/webcam sex as she was convinced that someone would be listening or even worse... watching! But following Jen's lead she had quickly found that she enjoyed the experience. Graphically telling Jen what she would be doing to her is she was there with her, or even better - telling Jen what to do to herself! It was such a turn on, but then everything Jen did was a turn on.

Whilst lying in the bath Tilly couldn't stop herself thinking back to what Claire had said to her back in the bar. Her warning message about Jen. Tilly's reaction was instant. She did believe that Jen had acknowledge the personal issues she had and that she would do all she could to stop them ruining her and Jen again. Tilly had told Jen whilst they were at the cottage that this was the last chance for them. If anything happened this time, there would be no way back. It clearly wasn't meant to be. Tilly wasn't going to let her heart be broken again. That would be stupid. Jen had agreed and promised to work hard on her feelings. To try and open up more to Tilly about any insecurities she was feeling.

Jen's initial reaction to seeing Claire today had worried Tilly. They way she had dropped Tilly's hand was the old Jen - pushing her away. But the way Jen stood up for Tilly showed that she had realised that her initial reaction was wrong and she was trying to show Tilly that she knew that. Claire was not at all what Tilly had imagined Jen would go for - aside from the killer body. She was too polished for Jen. Too interested in image. That was one of the many things Tilly loved about Jen, her individuality. Her dress sense and attitude to life. Tilly's mind wondered back to the skinny dipping day as a classic example. She didn't see much of that kind of attitude in Claire when they had briefly met. The way she looked was so image conscious and a bit ... cold! She did however Tilly thought looking down at her naked body in the bath have amazing tits and Tilly made a mental joke to herself about buying a new push up bra!

Jen heard Diane sniffling in the seat next to her and just before the lights were turned up she realised the film must have reached it's happy/sad conclusion having not really be paying that much attention. As another text message came through Diane turned to Jen and said 'Errr someone is miss popular tonight! Your phone has been buzzing all night long". Jen didn't respond not sure what to say to Diane, but instead pulled on her coat and started leading the way out of the Cinema. She smiled to herself thing of what Tilly's messages might be saying. What Jen didn't realise that the majority of those text messages weren't rude messages from Tilly, but picture messages from Claire. Pictures of Jen and Tilly in the door well kissing each other. All with the same threatening message - **_I wonder what your principle will say when he sees these? XXX_**


	12. Chapter 18

**Just a small chapter tonight before bed**.

**JEN**

When Jen finally saw the name sender of all the text messages, her stomach dropped. What did she want now Jen thought? She then saw that Claire had sent 10 messages! She was clearly drunk and texting. Jen sat on her bed and clicked to open the first message. When the picture came up Jen felt physically sick. She clicked on the next message, and the next. All of them showed a picture of the doorway by the bar in Liverpool and you could clearly see Jen kissing Tilly. Tilly pinned up against the door. Jen with her hand down her top. Jen's mind was racing. Fuck, fuck, fuuuucccck! The words of Claire's message playing over and over again - _I wonder what your principal will say when he see's these? XXX  
_  
Jen picked up her phone and texted Tilly. _**Something bad has happened. I need to see you now. Will be waiting around the corner from your house in 5 mins.  
**_  
**TILLY**

Tilly heard her phone buzz and smiled thinking that Jen must have finally left the cinema and that the fun was about to start. Her smile quickly changed to a look of fear as she read the words of Jen's text. Shit what had happened? Had Diane seen Tilly's messages. Shit!  
Tilly didn't bother responding, she just pulled on some clothes and made some excuse to her parents about having to drop something off to Sinead's before running out the door.

Jen flashed her headlights as she saw Tilly come round the corner to show her she was there. She leant over and opened the passenger door. She smiled at Tilly and squeezed her hand as Tilly buckled her seatbelt. Jen put her for down on the accelerator and drove away. Once they were on the move, Tilly looked over at Jen and spoke "_Jen what is it? What's up? Are you OK?" _  
Jen kept her eyes on the road and and handed her her phone without saying anything. Tilly took the phone and opened it up and saw the list of messages from Claire. Tilly's heart was pounding. What was going on? Did Claire want Jen back? Did Jen want to go back and she was about to break up with her? And then she saw the message, the pictures. _"Oh my god!" _

Tilly turned round to look at Jen who looked scared shitless, but kept her eyes on the road as she spotted a place to pull in safely. She switched off the engine and finally spoke _"I don't know what to do Tilly"_ she pulled Tilly towards her _"hold me_" she whispered. Tilly took off her seatbelt and pulled Jen into her arms and held tightly. She stroked Jen's hair and kissed her head. After a minute of silence Jen lifted her head and looked Tilly in the eyes._ "I'm screwed Tilly." Jen swallowed hard. "She hates me so much and it's all my fault"._ Jen started crying and Tilly pulled her back towards her and cuddled her.

Tilly was trying to take it all in, trying to make sense of it. Trying to think of a way out of the mess they were in._ "Jen. Don't cry Jen. Please don't cry. I hate seeing you like this. it's... it's gonna OK... It's gonna be OK. think about it Jen ...She doesn't actually know I'm your student. She... She's bluffing. She's shit stirring and wants to hurt you, but she... She doesn't know. She can't know!" _

Jen's tears started to dry up as she took in what Tilly had said. She wiped the tears from her face and sat back up in her seat... Looking at Tilly. She was right. There was no way Claire could know that Tilly was her student. Sure she looked a bit younger than Jen, but not THAT young. The bitch._ "She's a bitch. I hate her_". Tilly grabbed Jen's hand_ "Shhhh Jen. It's OK. It's OK. We'll sort this OK? We just need to be careful that's all." _Tilly looked out the window deep in thought before adding _"we need to play Claire at her own game somehow. Show her that we're don't except her bullying. That we are stronger than her." _ Jen turned to look at Tilly and said_ "I love you Tilly. I know we can do his together. I know we can"._

**JEN**

Jen pulled Tilly into her arms. She felt so much better having talked things through with Tilly. Jen would sleep on it tonight and then tomorrow she would text Claire back and arrange to meet her face to face to put the record straight. Tilly was right. She had to show Claire that she couldn't hurt them (even though she clearly could). Jen had to convince Claire that she had nothing on her. She just didn't know how she was going to do it!


	13. Chapter 19

Jen dropped tilly off back at her house and gave her a quick peck on the lips. She wished she had been as reserved when they had left the bar earlier. If she had, none of this would have happened. Jen kicked herself for even suggesting they went to the bar, but then she was sick of having to hide... Hide her love for Tilly. It was just bad luck that on their first time there they had to bump into her evil ex! Jen grabbed Tilly's hand as she went to leave "thank you Tilly." Tilly turned to look at Jen and smiled "Jen. Don't worry. We'll fix this. We're a team now OK? We fight these things together." Jen smiled back at her and thanked her lucky stars for having her in her life.

She watched Tilly walk around the corner back to her house and then closed her eyes. There was no way out of it... Jen had to text Claire back and face up to her actions.

Opening her eyes she grabbed her phone and started typing. Her text message was short and sweet. Meet you at the flat tomorrow night at 7pm. J x Jen pressed send and didnt have to wait long for a response. "OK"

Jen switched on the engine and drove the short journey home and climbed straight into bed, not that she expected to sleep much. She sent a quick goodnight message to Tilly telling her again how much she loved her. Tilly responded instantly repeating her earlier words about them getting through this together as a team. Jen loved the thought of being part of a team, and she didnt think she could have picked a better team member than Tilly.

The day dragged more than Jen had expected. Tilly and her had shared a brief conversation at lunchtime as Jen filled Tilly in on her plan of action. Jen would meet Claire and tell her that she had got it wrong. That Tilly was at Uni and that there was nothing illegal or illecet about their relationship and that she was more than welcome to inform the college principal, but if she did, then Jen would be contacting her solicitor to sue for damages. It was a risk, calling her bluff, but what other option did she have? Tilly offered to drive Jen to Claire's flat for support and then wait outside whilst they spoke. Jen thanked Tilly for the offer and accepted thinking how nice it would be have Tilly there afterwards.

Tilly picked Jen up from near Diane's around 6.15. They talked through the plan as they drove to the flat. Jen admitted to being scared shitless and so they stopped at a nearby pub so that Jen could have a quick Vodka and coke for Dutch courage. Tilly dropped Jen off around the corner from the flat she had previously shared with Claire and after a good luck kiss from Tilly, she opened the car door and walked towards the flat.

Tilly had agreed to wait around the corner, but she couldn't help herself and so after Jen had walked out of sight Tilly started the engine and slowly drove around the corner just in time to see Claire closing the door behind Jen. She parked the car on the opposite side of the road and zipped up her coat to keep the cold at bay as she waited for Jen to return.

Jen's stomach was churning as they walked up the stairs to her old flat, they both walked into the living room and Jen took in the changes to the flat. Jen swallowed and spoke first " I ummmm, like what you've done to the flat" it was pointless chitchat and they both knew it. Claire laughed in an angry way and looked at Jen "Seriously Jen? I don't think you've come all this way to admire my interior design skills." She walked over to the coffee table and picked up a glass of wine. Jen cleared her throat and asked " I don't suppose there is any more of that is there?" She asked nodding to the wine. Claire seemed to lighten up slightly as she let a small smile form on her face. "Still a fan of Rioja then?" "Totally" replied Jen sensing a slight thawing in the atmosphere. Claire went into the kitchen and return shortly after with a glass of wine and passed it to Jen. "Thanks" Jen smiled before taking a big swig of wine. Jen took a deep breath and then started the speech she had prepared.

"Claire I don't know what you think you are playing at sending me those messages and the pictures, but you've got it all wrong. Tilly is 19 she's at Uni so there's nothing to tell the principal." She paused and looked Claire directly in the face. "You of all people know how hard I worked for my degree, to get a teaching placement, do you seriously think I would risk all of that for a school girl?"

Claire took a sip of wine and then looked at Jen " yeah Jen...I do know. I went through it all with you remember. Well until you dumped me that is." Jen saw the hurt in Claire's face and Jen realised that this was her way of getting her back... of causing Jen pain... in the way that Jen had to her.

Jen stood up from the sofa where the two of them had been sitting and walked over to the sash window. They had been happy in that flat, at least to start off with. Jen remembered the day they moved in. She had nearly broken her back carrying all the things up the stairs. It had been a bit of a dump, but they had worked hard decorating,scrubbing all the floors, painting the walls, making flat pack furniture together over a bottle of wine. they had turned it into a nice flat in no time. Jen could picture them dancing around the bedroom in their underwear to some cheesy pop tune, spending all of Sunday in their pj's reading the papers, discussing the latest news. The had had fun together.

Jen closed her eyes as she started trying to make amends "Claire I don't know where to begin. How to apologise to you. The way I treated you was inexcusable. I... I... Was a total bitch... I shouldn't have ended it the way I did. I know that... I know that now." Jen felt tears start to form in her eyes " you didn't do anything wrong to deserve me ending our relationship in the way I did.

I... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I know ... I know I messed up. I know I put myself first a lot of the time... I didn't stop to consider how my actions would affect you... How... How much I hurt you." She paused and wiped a tear away that had started to roll down her cheek. She took a sip of wine and carried on "I never opened up to you ... Not fully. I... I suffered a lot of hurt when I was younger and ever since then, all my adult life, I've been putting up barriers to protect myself from getting hurt again. I ... I never allowed anyone to get really close... And I had no right to start a relationship with you without you knowing that about me. The thing is I've only just realised all this ... Only just accepted that I behave the way I do because of my past... Because I am so scared of being hurt that I... I push... pushed ... people ... you ...away."

Tilly nervously looked at her phone for the time. Jen had been in there 25 mins now and she wondered what was being said, if Jen was convincing Claire that Tilly was a Uni student. Tilly looked up at the flat window and saw the unmistakable outline of Jen at the window... and then watched as she was joined by Claire who... who wrapped her arms around Jen.


	14. Chapter 20

**Thanks for the reviews and kind words. Hope out enjoy this chapter. It's such as shame that the real storyline turned Jen into such a bitch. In my story I've tried to show that often people react a certain way because of insecurities, not because they are mean people! **

**JEN**  
Jen stood at the window, trying to compose herself. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus her watery eyes on the view through the window. As she concentrated, she realised Tilly was sitting in her parents car outside the front of the flat, rather than around the corner as they had previously agreed. She was about to lift her hand to wave at Tilly who was looking up at Jen when she sensed Claire approaching from behind her and then she felt her arms encompass her.

Jen for a split second felt security... warm ...but then quickly came to her senses... Claire was holding her... This was wrong. This had to stop. Tilly .. Tilly. Oh god ... Tilly was just there... Outside. Watching!

"_Claire... What... What are you doing? Don't!"_ Jen turned round and looked Claire in the face .. As she pulled herself out of Claire's arms "_Jen ... It's ok. I... I understand." Claire pleaded as she reached out for Jen again Jen interrupted "Claire, you don't understand ... I... I... "_ Jen paused as she she turned back to the window just in time to see Tilly drive away "_shit_!" Jen said out loud. Jen sighed as she assessed the situation - what must Tilly be thinking. She had to speak to her immediately and put the record straight ... But she also had to manage the difficult situation with Claire or else there would be more trouble.

Jen quickly walked away from the window to put some distance between her and Claire. Claire remained at the window and turned round to look at Jen who was finishing the remains of her wine glass.

Jen took a deep breath before looking up at Claire, straight in the face and saying "_Claire ... I meant everything I said earlier... How I was wrong to end the relationship the way I did... How you deserved better ... But the truth is .. I love Tilly. She made me face up to my demons ... Acknowledge my 'issues'... Hang ups." _Jen paused for a few seconds before continuing "_I came here to do two things - firstly to set the record straight about my relationship with Tilly..her age and everything, but also to apologise to you over the way I treated you. The way I ended the relationship. I'm sorry"_

Claire remained silent. things hadn't quite gone to plan for her, but at least Jen had apologised for the way she had ended their relationship. Jen got up and started walking towards the door. Worrying about what Tilly had seen and what she must be thinking. Jen needed to speak to Tilly asap and set the record straight.

"_Claire, I hope you understand me a bit better after tonight and know that I never intentionally set out to hurt you. I did love you. And I am sorry for being such a selfish cow._" Jen looked at Claire and shrugged her shoulders. What the fuck she thought. She couldn't be arsed pretending anymore.. "_The truth is... You were right... Tilly IS my student! I know that's wrong.. And I know that you have the power to finish me.. To finish my career... And I.. I know that must be really tempting... But the bottom line is that Tilly has made me realise so much about myself... Helped me identify my weaknesses that I actually don't care what you do. Send those pictures to the principal if it really will make you feel better.. If it will feel like 'revenge'"._

Jen looked around the room one more time, before smiling at Claire "_do what you feel Claire.. I'd honestly don't care"._ And with that Jen walked out of the flat, down the stairs and into the street. The cold hit her immediately ... Not just from the weather, but also from the fear of the consequences of what had just happened. Potentially Jen could have just lost everything she cared for in the world... Tilly and her job. Tilly! She had to set the record straight. Jen pulled out her phone and called Tilly.

**TILLY**

Tilly's mind was racing. She had only driven for maybe 5 minutes or so, before her phone started ringing. Jen's name flashed up on the screen. Tilly ignored the call. And the next one and the five after that. Jen eventually sent a text. At a set of lights Tilly stopped at the red and picked up her phone to read the message. '**Don't leave me! What happened to team Tilly and Jen? Don't believe everything you see**.' Tilly reread the message three times. It was only the honk of a horn that made her remember where she was and that the lights had turned green. Shit! Tilly didn't know what to think, but Jen's message and reminder about being a team made Tilly reconsider her options. She slowly pulled off the main road and parked her car. She picked up her phone and sent a text '**where are you? I'm coming back for you'.**

Jen let a huge sigh of relief when Tilly's text message came through. Jen responded and said she would be in the pub they had stopped in earlier that evening. 10 mins later Jen looked up at the door from the table she was sat at and saw Tilly stop and stare at her. Jen put up her hand to give a small wave and smiled with relief. Tilly thought she looked exhausted as she walked over to the table._ "Hi_" Tilly stood in front of the Jen. Jen stood up and gave Tilly a hug. As she did she whispered in Tilly's ears "_Thank god you came back"_. Tilly squeezed Jen a bit tighter and the broke their embrace and looked into Jen's eyes. They looked scared. Jen was frightened and scared.

Tilly sat down and picked up the glass of coke on her side of the table that Jen had indicated she had got for her and Tilly took a swig as Jen started speaking. "_Tilly I know what you saw must have hurt, but you HAVE to believe me that nothing happened... I mean I didn't do anything back... Anything to encourage that... Encourage Claire. If you had waited around you would have seen that_." Jen paused, but maintained eye contact with Tilly, her eyes searching for a sign from Tilly that everything was going to be OK._ "You mean the world to me, I love you so much, you are all and everything I want." _Another pause "_please tell me you believe me". _

Tilly's heart was pounding fast. If they were going to work as a couple they had to trust each other. Tilly had to trust that Jen wasn't going to cheat on her with someone else... Someone like a gorgeous ex girlfriend. Maybe this had highlighted some insecurities in Tilly. A jealous streak that she had never know she had... Caused by a lack of belief that someone like Jen... Someone as sexy, clever, talented, funny as Jen would really be interested in a school kid like her. Tilly had thought the worst in Jen when she had seen the two of them in the window, but if she recalled the scene, Jen had been standing there with her back towards Claire. Claire had put her arms around Jen, not the other way round.

Tilly leant over and picked up Jen's hand in her and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "_Jen I'm sorry. I'm sorry I drove off and didn't trust you. It was wrong of me"_ Tilly smiled a little shy smile before continuing .."_it seems like your not the only one with insecurities"_ Jen's eyes softened and now it was her turn to give Tilly's hand a reassuring squeeze._ "I was so scared when I saw you drive off.. Scared that I had lost you again, when I've only just got you back"_

Tilly responded "_you haven't lost me Jen... I'm not that easy to get rid of"_ Jen smiled at Tilly and whispered "_thank god!_" She took a swig of her drink before adding "_lets go home_".

The two of them got up and walked out of the pub and climbed into Tilly's car and instantly hugged each other, Tilly planting her lips on Jen's. They had become a bit more self conscious of their surroundings after all that had happened over the last couple of days and so their embrace didn't last long, but it had a lot of meaning. Relief on both sides. For Jen it was relief that Tilly had come back and trusted her. For Tilly it was relief that nothing had happened, that she hadn't lost Jen to a rival for her love. "_I want you SO much it actually hurts me_" Tilly had whispered as she looked into Jen's eyes "_I feel the same. My stomach aches when I'm not with you. My chest pounds so hard when I'm near you._" Jen stroked Tilly soft face and ran her finger over Tilly's top lip. Tilly seductively chewed on her bottom lip as she felt her feelings of insecurity slip away and be replaced with feelings of want and desire. Jen had pulled her hand away and sat back in her seat and angrily said "_This fucking sucks. I hate not being able to be with you so much_." Jen started crying again... It had all got too much.

"_Shhhhh_" Tilly whispered, pulling Jen back into her arms "_Jen we just have to be strong. To wait a few more months and then everything will be fine_" Tilly wiped a tear from Jen's face and looked her in the eyes, she could tell there was something Jen wasn't telling her. "_Claire knows the truth Tilly. The truth about us"._ Jen looked back into Tilly's eyes and Tilly could see that Jen had lost of a bit of her fight. "_What do you me? You told her I'm a student of yours?_" Tilly was confused "_but... But the pictures... She can ruin you.. Us_!" Jen nodded "_yes I know she can... I just have to hope that she doesn't hate me as much as we think. I just couldn't lie anymore. I don't want to lie anymore Tilly. It's all so tiring_". Jen closed her eyes and leaned against Tilly. Tilly realised that Jen just need a good nights sleep and hoped that tomorrow she would come to her senses and know that they had to keep the act up... For just a little bit longer! "_Come on. Lets get you home and into bed_" Tilly said as she started the engine. Jen turned to look at Tilly and smiled a sexy smile _"I would like nothing more than you putting me into bed_." Tilly smiled back and repeated her little teasey saying "_one track mind Gilmore... One track_".

As they drove back to Hollyoaks Village Jen told Tilly what had happened with Claire and how she had felt it important to apologise to Claire for the way things had finished between them. Tilly still didn't agree with Jen's decision to tell Claire the truth, but Tilly had to hope for the best. Things had not been easy between the two of them, something had to go their way soon right?


	15. Chapter 21

**Thanks again for the lovely reviews. Can't believe I'm on chapter 21! Was going to do a vote to see which way the story turned, but decided on this way. Hope you approve? Next chapter soon. **

**JEN**  
Jen was awoken around 3am by her phone buzzing to indicate a text message. Jen sleepily leant over to the bedside table and grabbed the phone and rubbed her eyes to try and wake up enough to be able to read it. Jen woke up instantly when she saw the text was from Claire. Shit! Jen's heart started beating faster. Was this it... The start of the end! Jen opened the message and read Claire's words.

'Jen I'm surry fothe lateness of this message, but I've been out and am a bot drunk'. Jen smiled at the typos, and continued reading 'For the past year I hove hated you. Hated you for the way you just tossed me aside. I know I'm butter off without you... And that we had our moment, but it really hurt. I just wanted to let you know that I've deleted the photos. Tilly is clearly a very special parson to have made you face up to your demons over your mum. You never spoke about it to me, but I knew more about you that you thought I did. I did love you after all! I am a bit jealous of what you have, but I can see how much she means to you. Don't worry. Your secret is safely with me. If you ever need to talk Jen Gilmore, you know where I am. I miss you... Sometimes... Miss us. Be happy. God i'm drink! C xx'

Jen reread the message just to make sure she hadn't got it wrong 'I've deleted the photos' oh god. Thank god. Her gamble had payed off. It was all ok. Thank Fuck Jen thought. Thinking that she had to let Tilly know, but then realising what time it was. Instead she sent a message asking her to meet her that night... And to pack an overnight bag. This deserved celebrating.

**TILLY**

Tilly woke around 7 and when she checked her phone for the time she saw a message from Jen. 3.05am - wow Jen was either up really late or really early! Tilly opened the message and smiled in excitement at the thought of spending the whole night together. What had bought this on Tillythought, all the time picturing the two of them together in a hotel room. Picturing Jen naked in her arms... Pictured her crying out her name as her orgasm took hold. Tilly felt a familiar stir between her legs and started texting a response to Jen.

'Morning gorgeous. Just woken up and seen your message. How exciting. Lying here in bed getting turned on thinking about what I am going to do to you later on :).'  
'Oh yeah?' Came the reply 'sounds interesting! I'm now lying here trying to imagine what that might be'.  
'I'll give you a clue... It involves an ice cube'  
Jen felt a small surge between her legs. A feeling that wasn't going to away. She slowly moved her hand down her stomach and underneath her shorts 'Mmmmmmm - I like the sound of that Miss Evans. I like the sounds of that a LOT!'  
Tilly read the message and knew Jen was probably right now touching herself. Tilly loved the way she could turn Jen on so much. She tapped a quick reply 'I know what you are doing Miss Gilmore... I'm doing the same' Tilly's hand was already down her knickers, her fingers rubbing her clit. 'I wish it was your hand rubbing me... Touching me'

Jen felt a wave of wetness flood her fingers as she pictured Tilly lying on her bed touching herself, picturing Jen rubbing herself. It was too much. She pressed The call button and Tilly answered instantly "tell me what you are doing" Jen whispered down the phone "I wanna hear you come".

Tilly swallowed, her throat tight in anticipation "my two fingers are inside me and I'm SO wet thinking about you. Thinking about sucking on your nipples until they go rock hard" Tilly heard a small moan down the other end of the phone. "I love it when you pull my nipple with you teeth" Now it was Tilly's turn to moan. They carried on talking to each other, describing the the intimate things they were be doing to each other and were near to the point where they couldn't take anymore when all of a sudden from outside Tillys bedroom door came the sound of her mums voice and a knock on the door. "Tilly dear are you awake?" "Shiiiiiiit" Tilly whispered down the phone, quickly pulling her hand up from underneath the bed covers. Jen could hear the noise down the phone, stopped moving her hand up and down and groaned that their session had been interrupted at that key point "hi Mum. Yeah I'm awake... Just ummmm just in the the phone to a friend" Tilly had seriously hoped her mum hadn't heard anything of what she had been saying, otherwise she might be a bit shocked to have heard the things coming out of Tillys mouth... All the rude things she would be doing to Jen in a few hours time. Tilly watched as the door handle started to move and whispered to Jen "fuck! Gotta go", before her mum was in the room asking why she was awake so early, what her plans were for the day... Blah, blah, blah. Tilly answered her mums questions as she quickly typed a message to Jen "think of me when you come!". The response was more or less instant "I always do! Can't wait for tonight. Meet 6pm, Folly car park? "Great. See you then xxxxx". Jen put her phone down and moved her hand down to finish off what she had started with Tilly. She realised she hadn't even told Tilly about the text from Claire. She would tell her tonight when they had the whole night together.

**JEN**

Jen dozed back off to sleep for a little bit before waking again and reaching for her laptop to book somewhere for tonight. Before she did that though she realised she needed to text Claire back. Picking up her phone she kept the message short 'Hey! Hope the head doesn't hurt too much this morning.' Jen remembered that Claire didn't drink very often, but when she did she normally suffered the next day. Big time! 'Thank you for you message. Thank you for understanding. Would love for you to meet Tilly and get to know her properly... And for us to be friends again. Be in touch soon. Jen xxx ps get some diet coke!

Jen put her phone down and switched on her laptop. She smiled to herself thinking that things were finally working out the way she wanted it... She was so happy with Tilly, so happy that Claire had realised this herself and not gone to the principal. In a few months time Jen would hopefully be moving to London ... To London with Tilly. She seriously couldn't wait. As her laptop came to life she tapped into the search engine hotels in Chester and her thoughts turned to Tilly again. 8 hrs until she saw her next.


	16. Chapter 22

**Sorry for such a short chapter tonight. Will make up for it when they return to the beach where it all first happened. If you are feeling sad over the end of Jelly, just watch some of the great videos on YouTube that people have made. They look so cute and in love/lust!**

Tilly was still mad at her mum for ruining her unexpected, but totally amazing phone sex session with Jen this morning, although she obviously couldn't say why she was pissed.

"What is wrong with you today young lady?" Her mum had asked as she walked around the supermarket with Tilly reluctantly following behind with the trolly. Tilly responded in her head ... err might have something to do with the fact that you interrupting when you did this morning has left me with the ranging horn which really isn't being addressed by having to come food shopping with you!

"I'm just worried about some coursework mum that's all"

"You study too hard Tilly. You need to get a few more breaks or else you will have burn out before your exams". Tilly's mum placed some milk into the trolly before continuing " all those evening sessions round at Sinead's studying as well, you are starting to get dark bags under your eyes. I think you need an early night tonight."

Tilly stopped dead in her tracks "I'm fine mum honestly. I've already said I'd stay round at Sinead's tonight as she is on her own." Tilly looked at her mum and pleaded "I can't let her down now".

"Oh Sinead won't mind. There will be plenty of other nights. You are getting an early night tonight and that's the end of it."

"Mum... I'm nearly 18 for god sake. You can't make me go to bed early like I'm a kid." Tilly couldn't believe what was happening here. She had to get her mum to change her mind so that she could spend the night with Jen.

"Matilda, there is no point sulking and moaning over thIs. I am still your mum and I say that you are staying in tonight. We will have a family dinner and then you young lady can go to bed to catch up on some clearly needed sleep".

"Seriously? Seriously mum... Are you really going to do this? Going to make me stay in... Because it... sucks". Tilly was furious. First she interrupts her when she was so turned on, then she makes her come shopping and now she was grounding her for the night like she was 12 or something.

It was clear her mum wasn't budging on this and so reluctantly Tilly started walking and pushing the trolly again, still getting over the injustice of her cruel and mean mum. She grabbed her phone and started typing a message to Jen.

Bad news. Mum won't let me go out tonight because I look tired! No talking my way out. I'm so cross and annoyed. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. I promise. X

Tilly was worried that Jen would be annoyed when she saw her message. How embarrassing was it to have to admit to your older lover that you couldn't make the planned romantic night in a hotel... Because your mum thinks you look tired! The shame!

Tilly grabbed a big bar of chocolate that she would be eating tonight that's for sure.

Jen had settled on a cute B&B that was owned by a young Swedish couple who according to the blurb on their website, had moved to the UK a couple of years ago. The B&B was modern and the room Jen had picked was in a little annex all on its own. Jen had a couple of swedish friends and they had a really healthy attitude towards relationships, very open minded and Jen hoped it was a characteristic trait of the country. She smiled thinking how great it would feel to fall asleep with Tilly ... A naked Tilly at that... Next to her. Almost as good as it would feel to wake up with her still beside her. Their time in the cottage had been amazing, and the more you had of something, Jen thought... the more you wanted it. It was certainly true with Tilly.

Jen was just sorting through her clothes thinking what underwear to wear tonight. Should she go for the racey pink or the classic black bra and knickers? Or maybe she would go into town and buy something new to surprise Tilly. It was just then that Tilly's text message came through with the news of her mum not letting her go out for the night. Jen felt gutted. All that sexy talk this morning over what they would do with each other later that night... when in fact it looked like Jen wouldn't even get to see Tilly now. She knew it wasn't Tilly's fault, but Jen was frustrated. Tilly acted in such a mature way, sometime Jen forgot that she was only 17. Jen responded with a slightly jokey message ' tell your mum that Miss Gilmore thinks spending the night with your older, sexy teacher of a girlfriend is perfect exam preparation! Do you think it would help if I promised to have you in bed by 7pm ;)'

Tilly laughed when she read the text causing her mum to turn round and ask what was so funny. Tilly looked up at her mum and said that it was Sinead and who was in tears at the news that I wouldn't be able to join her tonight and that she thought I should offer to buy you lunch to change your mind.

"Oh did she now. Well my sweet darling daughter... you can of course buy me lunch, but I'm afraid I'm not changing my mind over this. One night Tilly. It won't kill you now will it!"

Tilly thought of the frustrated feeling between her legs, the throbbing and thought to herself that yes actually mum, it might just do that. Death by sexual frustration.

Tilly responded back to Jen 'I have to still see you... I may explode otherwise'. Jen smiled as she read Tilly's message. she would have to cancel the b&b, her mind racing as she thought of somewhere they could meet. Jen looked at her watch 11.30 ... a plan was forming in her head. she quickly typed 'Fancy going to the beach? ;)'


	17. Chapter 23

**Sorry for the delay in writing the next chapter. Hope you like it? You might recognise one of the scenes! Think i'm supposed to say something legal about Hollyoaks words, but not sure what that is!**

**Keep the feedback coming, it's lovely to hear what you think. **

**TILLY**  
Tilly's phone buzzed to indicate another text from Jen 'Fancy going to the beach ;)' Tilly smiled and responded 'Hell yeah! Meet you in the folly car park in an hour - I'll bring a picnic.'  
'Can't wait x'

Tilly managed to convince her mum that as she wasn't allowed to go round to Sinead's tonight she would go round there for the afternoon and would take some lunch. She rushed around the supermarket picking up some yummy snacks for her and Jen! Her mum made her promise to be back home by 7pm for dinner and that early night. "Yes mum. I promise" Tilly had answered as they packed up the shopping and headed for the car.

Tilly was super excited about going back to Crosby beach for ages... Since the first time she had gone with Jen. She hoped that she would be able to see some of the statues submerged in the water if the tide was in. She quickly ran upstairs to her bedroom and changed into warmer clothes and picked up her camera. The last time they had been they had sketched the statues, this time Tilly wanted to (with Jen's help) get some good black & white photos. A quick squirt of perfume and a touch up of eye liner and lip gloss and Tilly was ready to go meet her lover.  
She ran downstairs, grabbed the bag of food she had got for their lunch and shouted bye to her mum who had her head in the fridge putting the shopping away "7pm sharp young lady" her mum called out as Tilly slammed the front door shut. She sighed and continued with the task at hand.

**JEN**

Jen was standing leaning against the drivers door of the jeep at the folly carpark when she saw Tilly walk round the corner. Jen noticed Tilly look at her and saw the smile appear on Tilly's face as she realised Jen was wearing her big pink scarf like she had that day nearly a year ago... Tilly played along and pretending that she had seen Jen and carried on walking past the jeep and a beaming Jen

"You're really gonna do that?" Jen called out to Tilly... "Just pretend you didn't see me"? Tilly stopped and looked at Jen and they both laughed out loud.

Tilly walked over to Jen so she was standing really near and looking into her big brown eyes whispered, "I couldn't ignore then... And I certainly can't now. You look beautiful."

Jen felt her heart swell with love.

"Come on jump in" smiling again she added "I'll explain everything... All that stuff I was saying at the exhibition that made you LOVE me so much!" Tilly laughed and play slapped Jen's arm and added "but... I don't even know you!"

Now it was Jen's turn to look into Tilly's blue eyes and said "oh Tilly Evans... you know me better than anyone else in the world. Come on, let's get out of this town...Before someone sees us". They climbed into the car and as put the car into first gear Tilly reached down and squeezed her hand.

Jen turned on the CD player and the two of them sang along to some songs as they drove to the beach. They both started recalling the day they had seen each other and gone to the beach.  
"So" Jen asked ... On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not at all, 10 being more than anything, how much did you want me to speak to you when you saw me standing there by my car and then pretended to ignore me?"  
"Truthfully?" Tilly asked looking Jen in the eyes briefly as Jen looked over at Tilly  
"Truthfully" Jen repeated  
"Oh... only About a 3!  
"A 3!" Jen screamed in disbelief "I don't believe you"  
"It's true" Tilly protested before adding "when I first saw you in the village earlier before the art event, when I was with Neil and you dropped our apple, I thought you looked stunning. I was like who is this gorgeous woman in Hollyoaks Village with her amazing smile and BoHo chic look"  
"Did you really?" Jen asked blushing slightly.  
"Nah... Not really, I didn't even notice you if I'm honest" Tilly tried to keep a straight face as Jen looked over at her with a look of hurt on her face.  
"You bitch" Jen joked and play hit Tilly's leg.  
"Only joking! Of course I thought all those things. I mean who wouldn't!" Tilly paused and looked over at Jen who was concentrating on the road "when you walked into the exhibition my stomach flipped. Then Neil bless him tried to ask you out and I watched the way you spared his blushes when you turned him down, how you casually dropped the hint that you like girls"

"OK" Jen continued ... "So why only a 3 when you saw me the next day?"  
"Because I thought you were a pretentious stuck up cow, hot as fuck, but up your own arse at the same time" Tilly gave Jen's hand a squeeze and continued "oh yeah... And I was SO embarrassed about my crappy lame drawing and what you had said about it, I just didn't want to have to think about the moment again. The moment when the super cool, older, sexy stranger in town, who you fancy the pants off, tells you your painting sucks... Well it kinda knocks ones confidence... If you get what I mean?" Jen groaned " you are never, ever going to let me forget that bit are you?" Tilly smiled "nope!".

"My turn now... So Jen Gilmore did you know that I liked girls when you kissed me on the beach, or .." Tilly paused and smiled, knowing that her next comment would probably result in another slap "... were you so confident in your looks that you were sure of 'turning' me if I was straight"!  
"Tilly! That's an awful thing to say! Of course I didn't think that. Jen cried in fake horror. "Wow - Did I really come across that arrogant?" Jen sighed at the teasing she was getting from Tilly, but she kinda enjoyed it at the same time. "When I saw you at the art exhibition I was instantly struck by your confidence. The way you carried yourself around the room, mingling with people, working the room like a true professional. I loved that part of your personality. i also remember thinking that you had such kissable lips and how much I wanted to kiss them. I still think that every day by the way!" Jen stopped at looked at Tilly just in time to see her blush slightly.

Jen continued "when I saw you the next day and how cute you were, as you pretended to ignore me... I thought then that maybe ... No, correction ... I HOPED that maybe you fancied me as I knew I fancied you. You could have totally got your revenge on me that day... By turning me down. That would have hurt, but I'm SOOOO pleased you didn't." Jen turned her face briefly to smile at Tilly " I'm so pleased you abandoned those books and got into a car with a complete stranger".

Tilly leant over a placed a gentle kiss on the side of Jen's cheek and whispered "me too." Jen flicked on her indicator as she saw the turning for the beach...


	18. Chapter 24

**Just a small chapter today... Sorry. **

Jen parked the car in the car park and after turning if the engine lent over and kisses Tilly on the lips, her tongue pressing into Tilly's mouth, exploring... Teasing. After 20 seconds or so she slowly pulled away "I've been wanting to do that all journey" she said looking at Tilly.

"And I've been wanting you to do it all journey too!" Tilly smiled back her her.

They climbed out of the jeep and collected their cameras, the picnic bag Jen had packed and the food Tilly had got for them to eat and started heading to the beach. "Do you remember how you got us lost the first time we came here together?" Tilly asked with a smile on her face "can't say your sense of direction has improved over the months Jen Gilmore" she teased.

"Hey, don't be mean! I admit that map reading and directions is perhaps not my speciality... but i make up for it in other areas" she flashed Tilly a knowing look and held Tilly's gaze slightly longer than usual. Tilly felt a surge of lust from within her. Biting her bottom lip seductively she responded "you sure do". Jen laughed "actually I meant in terms of drawing or my photography, or cooking" she paused before adding "and you say I have a one track mind!" Tilly lent in and gave Jen a quick peck on the cheek. It felt great to not alway have to look over their shoulders, to be able to be free, to not have to hide their feelings. Tilly couldn't wait for it to always be this way.

Jen started walking down one of the dunes and continued "anyway Evans, I've been here about five times since that day, so I know this beach like the back of my hand now". Tilly was surprised how many times Jen had been here "five times! Wow. You really like it here". Jen paused before turning to look at Tilly "I came here all the time when we were speaking. It... It reminded me of you. It gave me... hope. I officially rename Crosby beach the Jen and Tilly beach" she smiled. Tilly pictured Jen sitting here on her own and her heart swelled a little bit with more love for her. "Jelly beach" Tilly added smiling and grabbing Jen's hand. Jen laughed "ha yes, Jelly beach"

They spent the next out taking photos of the statues, Jen giving Tilly helpful tips on light and composition of the frame. Tilly smiled to herself as she listened and watched Jen explain things to her with such passion. After an hour or so Jen declared herself to be starving and so they walked back up to the dunes and found a sheltered spot to eat. It was a cold day, but the sun was out and the sky was a brilliant blue. It felt like spring might actually be coming at long last. Jen allowed herself to day dream ahead to the summer with Tilly. Her exams would be over and they would officially be able to be together. She couldn't wait. It was hard, so hard keeping their love a secret all the time, much harder than she had thought. Their love for each other had grown so much since last summer, and the more it grew, the more Jen just wanted everyone to know. To know how much she was in love with Tilly. How much she admired the young redhead. How strong they were together, how they were a team.

They laid out the picnic blanket that Jen had brought with her and Tilly started spreading out the food. As they ate they continued their trip down memory lane. Jen turning to Tilly "Do you know it's nearly a year since we first came her together? Nearly a year since we first kissed?"

"Oh course I do. It was the 14th April 2012. Trust me, I'm not going to forget that day in a hurry" Jen blushed a little before continuing "do you remember you did your lame fall over"

"Hey that wasn't lame, I nearly broke my ankle there" Tilly joked back.

"Yeah right... After you fell at my feet you mean! don't worry. it happens all the time" jen joked and Tilly poked her tongue out at Jen in jest.

"And I gallantly scooped down and fixed your shoe. Do you remember what you said?" Jen added looking at Tilly. Taking in her beautiful face.

"Something about it feeling weird" Tilly responded. Holding Jen's stare back.

You said "How weird is this?" And I responded "doesn't feel weird to me" and it didn't Tilly. It has never felt weird... Or wrong... Even after I found out you weren't a Uni student. Sure it was wrong to everyone else, but not wrong in here" Jen said as she touched her chest to indicate her heart


	19. Chapter 25

**Finally had some time to write another chapter... Sorry for the wait. let me know what you think about Jen and Tilly's return trip to the beach. I loved that scene when the kissed the first time so much. (Sob). **

Tilly leant over the food towards Jens direction, pushing the containers to one side with her hand as she did. She looked Jen directly in the eyes, holding the gaze before gently placing her juicy lips on Jen's moist mouth. Still kissing Jen, she used her legs and hands to clear the rug of the food, to make space for them and then holding Jen's neck she used her weight to push Jen down onto the rug, positioning herself directly on top of her. Their kisses intensified and Tilly heard Jen let out a small groan.

They were completely surrounded by the sand dune, which acted as not only a buffer against the wind, but also meant they were hidden from the view of anyone else on the beach. Tilly continued kissing Jen, her tongue exploring Jen's mouth. Jen opening her mouth, inviting Tilly's tongue to enter. The sound of the sea could be heard in the background, the waves laping against the beach, over and over again. The grass of the sand dues made a whistling noise in the wind and every now and then a seagull would fly over their bodies letting out a disapproving squawk!

They were both completely lost in the moment. Their desire and want for each other acting as a sound barrier as all their attention was on each other. Tilly was still lying on top of Jen... her favourite position. She slowly moved her head to one side, kissing Jen's face and neck as she did, moving her lips near to Jen's ear lobe, sucking it in her mouth which she knew Jen loved her to do and sure enough, there was the groan. Tilly whispered into Jen's ear "you like that don't you?" Tilly felt Jen's chest contract and expand as she took a deep breath, running her hands down Tilly's back before whispering "I love it when you do that!" "It makes me so wet" Jen's hands started wondering up underneath Tilly's jacket... And jumper... Until she felt her warm, soft skin. Tilly repositioned herself slightly, using her thigh to push Jen's legs apart she felt Jen's body buck up to meet Tilly's. "Tilly, everything you do turns me on...so much" Jen continued kissing Tillys neck, her fingers expertly undoing Tilly's bra before moving her hands round to the front of Tilly's body and onto her soft, round breasts. Jen felt Tilly's body thrust harder into Jen, their pleasure points rubbing against each other... Causing heat and wetness between both of their legs. Tilly quickened up the grinding to match her desire for the beautiful woman beneath her. Tilly opened her eyes and looked at Jen's perfect face, Jens eyes were closed as she savoured the sensual feeling. "I want you so much Jen" Tilly whispered, the words slightly getting caught in her through which was tight with desire. Jen opened her eyes and looked back at the gorgeous redhead lying on top of her, smiling at the sight and what Tilly had just said. Tilly continued "I have wanted you from the first day I saw you... For our very first kiss on this beach" Jen squeezed one of Tilly's nipples hard between her fingers and Tilly groaned with pleasure. She wanted nothing more than to be able to rip all of Tilly's clothes off, to be able to see, feel her beautiful body...but they couldn't. This was as good as it got.

Jen couldn't wait a minute longer, she needed to touch Tilly... Needed to feel Tilly touch her. She wiggled out from beneath Tilly so they were lying on the sides, kissing each other faster, harder as their passion grew. Jen ran her hand down Tilly's side before sliding it towards the top of her jeans. Without even bothering to unbutton or unzip them, Jen forced her hand down the front and between Tilly's hot, wet thighs. Her fingers plunging into Tilly. Tilly moaned in pleasure as she felt Jen insert her fingers into her and then quickly pull them out... And then in again... Over and over. "Fuck" Jen groaned into Tilly's ear "you feel so fucking good. Touch me Tilly. I need to feel you in me. I ... I need you to ... Oh fuck!" Tilly didn't need a second invitation, her hand was down Jen's pants, her fingers rubbing Jen, exploring Jen. Jen knew that she was so turned on it wouldn't take Tilly long to bring on her orgasm. She wanted to feel the connection when they came at the same time... Looking into each others eyes as their bodies convulsed with pleasure. Every part of Jen's body was so sensitive... Tillys fingers was literally sending shock waves through her body. Jen's thumb rubbed Tilly hard " oh god" Tilly groaned " don't stop... there... God yes... ther..." Sensing Tilly's orgasm was about to take hold of her was enough to send Jen over the edge. Lying side by side, hands down each others pants, their lips bumping against each other, their eyes locked on each other they came together. Both of them groaning, Tilly's body bucked against Jen's as Jen pulled her lover closer to her. As close as they could be.

They stayed lying like that for a while as their bodies recovered. They never took their eyes off each other as Jen stroked Tilly's hair. No words were needed. Their bodies had said all that needed to be said. Just then an alarm started beeping from Jen's phone. "Errr what's that?" Tilly asked as Jen groaned in dismay as she broke their gaze and tried to find her phone. "That my sexy one, is the alarm to tell me I have to get you back to your mum." Jen said switching off the annoying noise. Tilly rolled her eyes and made a sad face. moving her hand up to Jens cheek "awwwww ... I don't want to leave... just yet. surely we have time for..." Jen's hand moved up to where Tilly's hand was on her face and closing her eyes she slowly pulled it away "as much as I wish we did have more time, alas we don't." She leant in for a kiss before adding "we'd better get back". Tilly resigned herself to the fact her mum had won on this occasion "yeah... Yeah we'd better had" not wanting to give her mum another reason to make her stay in.

They packed their things away and quickly walked to the car and after one last kiss Jen started the engine and pulled out of the car park heading home. As they drove, they made plans for the next time they could see each other and agreed that they would go for pizza and the cinema on Wednesday. Jen was so happy as they both sang along to the song on the radio. She was so happy she didn't see the car...the car that had failed to stop at the red light at the junction they had just driven through...the car that slammed head first into the drivers side of Jens jeep...so hard the jeep flew over onto its side and skidded 100 metres down the road until it finally came to a stop. The horn blaring as Jen's head slumped against the wheel.


	20. Chapter 26

**Thanks for the reviews, let me know what you think.**

Tilly slowly opened her eyes. She was aware of voices around her, but didn't know what was going on.. What had happened. Where was she. The sight in front of her slowly came into focus. She was lying on her side. The pain was shooting through her body ... The voices became louder "it's gonna be ok sweetheart... Don't move... No.. No stay still. Someone is coming to help." Tilly felt a hand on her shoulder as she tried to move "what's your name... Can you speak? ... Do you know your name?" Tilly opened her mouth to try and speak... But she couldn't hear any words. What had happened? She went to move her arm. The pain shot through her..."stay still love... Try and stay still" the voice again. Who was that? She closed her eyes. It all hurt so much. Tilly tried to think back... The beach. Jen. Her heart started beating faster as some clarity came back. She realised where she was. she opened her eyes, she was in the Jeep. But... But why was she on her side. What was that dark liquid on her hand, her arm...soaked through her clothes. Tilly heard voices around her, but didn't know what they were saying. Lots of noises.. People talking. She closed her eyes again as she heard a new voice and someone touching her head, her neck "hello. Hello. Can you hear me?" Tilly tried to open her eyes, but it was too hard.

The mans voice was coming from behind her "What's your name. My name is Paul and I'm a paramedic". "What's your name love?" Tilly managed to croak out her name "ok Tilly. So you need to help me Tilly. I need you to stay really still ok. I'm just going to put a support around your neck ok. This will help you. Stay still". Tilly felt something go around her neck. Still dazed she tried to open her eyes again. " Tilly can you hear me ok? Stay really still and don't move, just squeeze my hand if you can hear me" Tilly felt a mans hand in her hand and gave it a squeeze. " good, ok so you've been in a car accident Tilly. You and your friend have been in an accident. Do you understand" "can you tell me where it hurts" Tilly tried to speak, but again no words came out. The paramedic turned to someone else and started explaining the situation, using words Tilly didn't fully understand. Accident. Oh my god. Tilly's mind was racing.. Accident. Jeep. Jen!

"Jen?" Tilly called her name. "Jen. Jen are you there?" Tilly was getting agitated trying to turn her head to look over to the drivers side, but she couldn't see. "Jeeeeen?" She screamed, tears forming in her eyes. The man was back "Tilly, it's OK. It's ok your friend Jen, she's been taken to the hospital. You'll be able to see her soon OK". He stroked Tilly's hand "shhh it's ok. Try and stay calm ok". "We're gonna get you out of the car ok. It's gonna be OK Tilly." Tilly closed her eyes. The tears streaming down her face.

Tilly next remembers waking up in hospital. She was wearing a hospital gown and had a bandage on her right arm, She now realised the dark liquid on her arm must have been blood. Her head hurt so much. She still had the neck brace on. She didn't know how long she had been asleep. What had happened? Just then a nurse pulled open the curtain and walked into the cubical. She smiled when she saw Tilly was awake. "Hi Tilly. My name is Naomi and I'm a nurse at Chester A&E. do you remember what happened?" The nurse looked at Tilly. Tilly whispered "accident". The nurse responded "that's right. You were in a car accident, but you are going to be fine. You have a few cuts and bruises and you are going to be very sore for a few days, but you are going to be fine. Is there someone we can call for you? Your phone was smashed in the crash, but if you give us a number we can call someone." Tilly's mind was racing. What was the time? Her mum would be going mad. "What time it is please" Tilly asked the nurse. "It's 7.15." You've been here about 90 mins."

Tilly tried to move and she felt the pain shoot through her. She had to find Jen. see how she was. "My ... my girlfriend" Tilly had never been able to call Jen that before in public. "ah yes... Jen is it?" the nurse said helping Tilly stand to her feet, noticing the wince. "are you ok?". Tilly nodded. "i just need to see Jen" Naomi cleared her throat and turned to look at Tilly. "Jen was badly hurt in the crash, and she's in intensive care at the moment. I'll... I'll take you up there OK. Just give me a few minutes". Tilly sat back down on the hospital trolly as she absorbed the information.

Oh my god. Jen was hurt. She felt sick with worry. She had to see her now "please. Tilly said to Naomi.. Please I just want to see her now. I need to see her". Naomi nodded and promised she would be back in a few minutes. Tilly couldn't hold back the tears. They were streaming down her face. Jen had to be OK. She just had to be.


	21. Chapter 27

Tilly thought about her mum being expecting her home. she had to defuse the situation. She stood up and slowly walked towards the curtain, the cold hospital floor feeling hard on her bare feet. she pulled the curtain back and scanned the scene looking for someone to help. there were 10 other cubicles all full and nurses and doctors busied themselves. Naomi the nurse who had been helping Tilly was talking to a doctor and stopped as she saw Tilly hobbling out towards her. "Can I use a phone please" Tilly needed to speak to her mum.

Naomi smiled "We can call someone for you" "no, no it's... It's OK. I'll be fine. I'll be real quick and then I want to see Jen" Naomi nodded and pointed to a phone on the wall. "You can use this phone. Just press 9 for an outside line"  
"Tilly smiled "thank you". Taking a deep breath she dialled the house number. It rang twice before her Mum picked up "hello?"

"Mum" Tilly's voice nearly cracked with emotion. She wanted her mum so much, but what could she say. How could she explain what had happened. Why she was in her teachers car. What they had been doing all afternoon.

"Tilly is that you? Where the devil are you? I've been calling your mobile. You are nearly two hours late. Dinner is ru..."

Tilly closed her eyes and interrupted her mum's rant

"mum I'm at the hospital"

"The hospital? What... What's happened.. Are you OK? Tilly what on earth is going on?"

Tilly hated lying to her mum, but she had no choice ...

"I'm ok. It's Sinead. The baby"

"What's happened?" Her mum asked concerned "is everything ok"

"Yeah yeah mum it's fine. Listen I'm waiting for Sinead's mum to get here and then I'll jump in a cab home ok?" "I'll explain everything when I see you mum Ok?" Tilly swallowed back the tears "I love you mum".

"Ok dear, well call if you need us to pick you up. Love you too dear".

Tilly put down the phone and started walking back to the cubicle she had been in earlier. Her things were there in a blue plastic police bag. She slowly pulled on her jeans, shoes and vest top. She looked at her jumper and coat and saw the blood from her cut arm. She decided to leave them in the bag. She noticed their cameras where there and she had a flashback to just a few hours earlier when they had been laughing on the beach. What had happened for it to all go so wrong!

Naomi and Tilly took the lift up to the Intensive Care Unit. Naomi explained that Jen had a bad bang to her head that they had put her in an induced coma to help the swelling go down. This meant that Tilly should prepare herself for a shock when she saw Jen and then she had a machine helping her breath. Naomi explained that she wouldn't be able to stay long, five mins max. Tilly nodded and felt her stomach go tight with nerves. As she approached the window on the room Jen was in she nearly passed out. She grabbed the window seal to support her as she looked in on Jen's body lying there surrounded by machines. Her head wrapped in a bandage, her beautiful face covered in tiny cuts from the glass. Her face was swollen. Her right arm was in plaster, clearly broken. Tilly felt the tears slide down her cheeks. Naomi turned to her "you ok sweet?" Tilly shook her head to say no and then started walking towards the open door of the room, towards Jen.

Tilly pulled over a chair and sat down next to Jen, looking at all the monitors and machines. She picked up Jen's hand and raised it to her lips to kiss it."oh my god. Please make her be ok. Jen... You have to be Ok you hear me? You HAVE to be OK" Tilly was sobbing, unable to control herself. Naomi came into the room and placed a hand on Tilly's shoulder.

"Tilly, we need your help in contacting Jen's next of kin. They..." The nurse paused a second before continuing "... They need to be here in case we have to operate on Jen's brain".

Tilly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and looked at the nurse and tried to take in what she had just said. " ummm... Sure... But I don't... I don't know their numbers." Tilly responded, looking back at Jen. At her beautiful Jen.

The nurse handed Tilly Jen's phone before adding "the police found this on the floor of the car, it survived the impact somehow. We normally call the last number dialled, but that was you."

Tilly took the phone and went to the contact list. She stopped when she got to Liam's name and was about to press dial when the panic hit her. Their secret was about to come undone... Everyone was going to find out... Unless... Tilly turned to Naomi and indicated that she was calling someone, and Naomi left her too it. Tilly called the only person she cold think of who could help. She pressed dial and then waited.


	22. Chapter 28

**Thanks for the positive comments. Just a short update for now. Will post more tonight**.

Tilly stood motionless staring at Jen lying in the hospital bed, dont die, please don't die she repeated to herself as the phone rang, waiting for it to be answered. Just then one of the new nurses came into the room and explained that she couldn't use her mobile phone here, because of the machines. Tilly puled the handset away from her ear, just as she heard a "hello" from the earpiece. she cancelled the call.

The nurse smiled at Tilly and added that they needed her to leave the room now so that they could to take some blood from Jen and do some tests, but that she would take Tilly to the relatives room where she could use the phone, and get a cup of tea.

Tilly gathered her things and started following the nurse to a room just off the main ward. The room had lamps and soft chairs and a small play area for children, and magazines on the tables.  
The nurse who had dark glossy hair like Jen's Tilly thought asked if she wanted a cup of Tilly. Tilly shook her head and said she was fine, before watching the nurse leave the room and go back to her work. Tilly picked up the phone again and pressed redialled on the last number.

This time the phone only rang twice before it was answered.  
"Hi Jen". Tilly opened her mouth to speak, but again, nothing came out.  
"Jen? are you there?"  
Tilly gathered her thoughts and started speaking.  
"Claire ... It's not Jen. It's... It's Tilly. Jen's hurt. Accident...she... She might d..." Tilly knew she wasn't making much sense, but Claire understood enough  
"shit! Which hospital are you in Tilly? Where are you?"  
Tilly told claire where they were in ICU Chester hospital and Claire promised she would be there as soon as she could.

Tilly was the only person in the room and so leaving her belongings on the floor she walked over to the toilet and locked the door behind her. She saw her reflection for the first time. Saw the small grazes to her left cheek and a bruise on her neck from the seatbelt.  
Tilly closed her eyes, and instantly the image on Jen surrounded by tubes came to her mind. She started crying. She must have been in there for maybe ten minutes or so. Slumped on the floor crying... Sobbing.. When her phone... Jen's phone, beeped with a text message. It was Claire 'in car park. Be there soon.'

Tilly slowly stood up and started running the tap, splashing water onto her red, puffy eyes. Tilly was about to call Liam when she had realised the consequences of her doing so would be disastrous. Their affair would be found out and Jen would lose her job. There had to be another way... And that was when she thought of Claire. Claire was the only person that knew about them, the only person in this situation Tilly could turn to. She had to hope that Claire would be able to help.

Tilly looked herself in the mirror once more before opening the door and heading back into the relatives room. A different nurse came into the room and asked if Tilly had managed to get in touch with Jen's next of kin. Tilly said that she had left a message. The nurse said that the police could go round to their address if they knew what it was. Tilly said that she would keep trying, trying to buy time.

When Claire got to the relatives room the two women looked at each other. It was a weird situation. The last time they had met, hadn't exactly been the ideal start of a life long friendship, and now here they were in hospital with the woman they both loved in a coma.

Tilly stood up as Claire walked over to her "I'm sorry Claire... I... I just didn't know who else to call"  
Claire pulled Tilly into her arms and gave her a hug. Sure she didn't know Tilly, and she was jealous of the fact that Jen was in love with her and not herself, but none of that mattered now. The girl looked awful.  
"They need to speak to Jen's next of kin... I can't call them... It would give the game away... I need to get away from here... So that people don't find out about us". Tilly pulled away from the hug and looked at Claire "can... can you help m..." Tilly couldn't finish the words for the tears that were streaming down her face.


	23. Chapter 29

Claire reached over and grabbed Tilly's hand and promised she would help. They hatched up a plan where claire would call Liam and explain what had happened to Jen and that Jen had been to visit her that afternoon, having recently got back in touch with each other. They were heading back from a pub where they had met and Claire was in her car following Jen's jeep when the accident had happened. That would explain why claire was at the hospital and didn't have any injuries herself. It was agreed that Tilly would go home and lie low for a bit as news of the accident would obviously be breaking soon in the village, once Liam and Diane knew. Tilly would come up with a story to explain the grazes on her face and hide the brusies caused by the seat belt. Claire explained that the police would obviously want to speak to her in order to get her story of events and that she should call them as soon as possible and arrange a time to give her statement. If they could keep it quiet from Liam and Diane that Tilly was in the car, then their secret would be safe. Well that was the plan. As Claire went to call Liam Tilly left the room and asked a nurse if she could visit Jen again. The nurse nodded and said she could stay five minutes. Tilly walked into the room where Jen was lying and felt physically sick. Her poor Jen. She looked awful... Broken. Tilly remembered the image of her face from just a few hours earlier as they had gazed at each other as their orgasms took hold, Jen was full of life, of lust. And now... Now was had a machine helping her breath, keeping her alive!  
Tilly walked over to the bed and lent in to give Jen a kiss on her cheek. She whispered "I love you Jen Gilmore. Don't you dare die on me. We've only just started". Worried about being caught at the hospital Tilly gave Jen one more kiss before walking back to find Claire. Claire promised that she would keep Tilly in touch and would call if anything happened - good or bad!

Tilly slowly walked out of the main hospital entrance and climbed into a cab. It felt so wrong leaving Jen there... But she didn't know what else to do. She was leaving Jen behind in order to help her. That's what she said to herself to make herself feel better about the decision, but it just felt wrong. She didn't know what to do for the best. What if Jen dies and She wasn't there... But her family would be there, Tilly was not an official part of Jens life, she couldn't be there even though she wanted it so much. She asked the cab driver to drop her round the corner from her house and got out of the car, trying to clear her thoughts. She needed to quickly come up with a plan re her injuries and what she would say to her mum. It was now nearly 11pm. She hoped that she would be able to get past them and up to her room without the fully interrogation, but she didn't think that was likely. She would say that Sinead and her had gone for a walk at the folly and Sinead had lost her footing. Tilly tried to grab her to say her from falling down some steps, but had failed and ended up falling as well, scrapping her face and arm. They had gone to the hospital to make sure the baby was OK. She didn't know if they would buy it, but it was the best she could do.

Taking a deep breath she put her key in the door and prepared herself for the questions. Her mum and dad jumped up off the sofa and their anger quickly changed to concern as they saw Tilly's face and bandaged arm. "I'm fine... I'm fine honestly" Tilly had pleaded with them, explaining what had happened at the Folly and how everything was ok with the baby and that she was sorry she had worried them, but that her phone had got smashed when she had fallen and that she just really wanted to go to sleep. Her parents insisted that she ate something and so after a few mouthfuls of soup, Tilly was finally allowed to go upto her room.

Once there she closed the door behind her and leant back against it, closing her eyes. She really did hate lying, but it was becoming a bit of a habit. If only she could have told the truth. Told them all about Jen, and how the woman she loved was lying in hospital with a head injury and she didn't know what was going to happen and how she was so worried. Tears started falling down her face again, but then she thought of Claire and how she had promised to keep her informed of what was happening. Tilly remembered she had an old mobile somewhere in her room that she had kept meaning to send off to one of those places that gave you cash back. After 5 minutes of frantic looking she finally found it and put the SIM card in from her broken phone. She quickly started typing a message to the number Claire had written on Tillys hand before she had left the hospital. 'What's happening. Any news. T?'

Tilly decided to have a shower and as she got underdressed she saw the huge black bruises that were already forming on her body from the impact of the crash. She still didn't really know what had happened. One minute they had been singing away to the radio, happy to have been able to spend time together, the next Tilly was lying on her side with Jen on her way to hospital. When they got her out of the Jeep, Tilly could see that the car was on its side and had skidded a long way by the looks of the state of the road. Tilly's neck was red from the seatbelt, and was so sore. She stood underneath the water from the shower and again started crying. She was so scared. Scared that Jen might... Might actually ... die.

Tilly switched off the shower splashed some cold water over her face and got dressed into her pj's. when she got back into her room she checked her phone. Claire had sent a message.

'Jen's family are here now. The doctors are going to do another scan tomorrow morning to see if the bruising of the brain has gone down. I've asked Liam to keep me informed. Think they believe our story!'. Tilly sighed with relief and responded 'I can't thank you enough. I want to be there so much, and it kills me that I can't be there... Can't tell everyone what she means to me. She's gonna be ok right?'

Claire responded 'I hope so Tilly'. I'll call you if I hear anything from Liam.

Tilly closed the phone and laid down on her bed. She must have fallen asleep as the next thing she remembers is hearing her phone ringing. Dazed and confused she looked at her alarm clock... It was 3am. Who was calling at this... Tilly saw Claire's name on her caller ID. Oh god. It's Jen!


	24. Chapter 30

**Thanks for the reviews. What did you think about Tilly calling Claire? Should Tilly have stayed at the hospital? Hope you like this chapter. **

Tilly grabbed the phone and pressed the answer button "please god. Don't tell me... Don't say she's.."

Claire interrupted Tilly "she's awake Tilly. She's awake".

Tilly let out a huge sigh of relief. "Oh my god. I was so scared... Is... Is she gonna be ok?" Tilly felt a tear run down her cheek.

Claire let out a long sigh, clearly relieved with the news as well "we don't know yet. They need to do loads more tests, but she's off the ventilator and breathing for herself. Liam said that they will do a scan on the brain tomorrow to make sure the swelling is going down and there ... There is no... Bleeding... Or" Claire paused "brain damage".

Tilly wiped the tears from her face."have you seen her? How did she look?"

"No I left around 1am her mum and dad were there with Liam. Liam just called me."

She continued "I said I'd go back tomorrow morning and take some things for her."

Tilly hated the thought of Claire playing the caring girlfriend role. That was what she should be doing.. getting her clothes to wear, her toothbrush and deodorant. Tilly felt torn with guilt, had she done the right thing calling Claire? Maybe she should have just called Liam and pleaded with him not to say anything... Or maybe they could have pretended that her and Jen had been somewhere, but just as friends. No it was too soon after Jen had accused Tilly of stalking her. It would have looked too suspicious. Tilly was still busy analysing the decision she had made, justifying to herself that it was the right decision.. The best decision.. For both of them when she heard Claire start speaking

"Tilly... Jen... Jen said your name. When she woke up. After they had taken the tube out of her throat... The first word she said was Tilly".

Tilly burst into tears hearing the words. "I should have been there.. I should have stayed. FUCK!"

"Liam asked me why she would have said your name"

"What? oh my god Claire... what, what did you say? Shit!"

"I said.." Tilly could have sworn Claire was crying when she finished the sentence " I said it was because... Because she was in love with you".

Tilly was silent as she took in what Claire was saying... Running the information through her brain, trying to work out what it all meant. "What did he say?" Tilly asked.

"He asked me how I knew that. What made me so sure." Claire paused and blew her nose, she was crying! " I told him that Jen had told me that she didnt want to get back with me because she had feelings for someone else. That nothing had happened yet, but that she had met someone who she had fallen in love with... Someone with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with... And that, that her name was Tilly".

Tilly thought her chest was about to burst. She just wanted to go to Jen now and hold her. Fuck the consequences.

"Claire I have to see her. I HAVE to see her".

Claire was silent at the other end. It was hard for her. Seeing Jen the other day, with Tilly had made her realise that she still had feelings for her, despite the way Jen had treated her. There was something special about Jen Gilmore, something that made you want it to work more than anything else in the world. Something that made any pain worthwhile.

When Jen had come round to the flat to talk, Claire had hoped for a reconciliation. Instead Jen had confessed her relationship with Tilly and how she had, for the first time, truly opened up to someone. That had hurt, but deep down Claire also knew that Jen and her had had their time. It hadnt worked between them, they were too different.

Admitting to Liam that Jen was in love with Tilly had been hard, but she knew what the two of them had was the real thing. Claire had put her pride to one side, for her love for Jen.

"Listen Tilly. I know you want to see Jen, but I really think it's best if you stick to the plan, stick to what we discussed. I'll let Jen know what is happening ok. I'll tell her tomorrow that you wanted to be there, but left for the good of both of you. That you are ok. Trust me?"

Tilly knew that Claire was probably right, but it still felt wrong. Jen must be so scared, worried...It looked like she didnt care, when she cared so very much.

"OK. I trust you".

Claire yawned "listen I'm gonna go now and get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow when I have some news. Remember to go to the police and give your statement OK?"

"Ok. Thank you Claire. Thanks for calling".

Tilly hung up the call and closed her eyes. Please make her be OK. Please make it ALL be ok!


	25. Chapter 31

Jen tried to swallow... But couldn't... Something was in her mouth,her throat. She raised a hand towards her throat before she heard... "Jennifer. Jennifer dear... It's ok." Who WAS that?

"Nurse. Nurse! She's... She's awake" Nurse?

Jen tried to open her eyes. She saw bright lights which hurt her head so much she quickly closed them shut again. Her hand grabbing at the thing in her throat. It was so sore. Everywhere was so sore.

"Liam. Get a nurse quick".

That voice again! It sounded...Sounded like her...mother! Liam? What was going on? Jen slowly opened her eyes again, blinking into the lights. As her eyes focused she saw the cast on her arm .. And then her mums face came into view. It WAS her mum!

"Oh god sweetheart. It's gonna be ok. It's gonna be ok." Her mum was crying as she leant in and kissed Jen on the cheek. Jen felt the tears on her mums face. Then she saw and heard her dad  
"Come on love, here comes the nurses, lets give them some space".

Jen closed her eyes again and had a flashback. A flashback to the jeep. With Tilly. To that afternoon. At the beach. What had happened? What had happened to Tilly?

The next thing Jen knew there were two nurses standing over her, talking to her, explaining that they were going to take out a tube from her mouth that would be uncomfortable for a few moments, but that it would be over quickly.

As the nurses busied themselves around her, Jen closed her eyes and tried to hold back the tears. She wasn't crying because of the pain, but out of concern for Tilly. What had happened? Where was Tilly?

Once the tube was removed from her throat Jen started coughing. Her throat was so sore, like someone had gone down he throat with a cheese grater. A hand passed her some water, she wasn't sure who exactly. Her mind was racing... She slowly swallowed and then as soon as she felt she was able to speak she opened her mouth and croaked Tilly's name.

"What's that sweetheart?" Her mum asked. "What did you say?" Jen was about to say it again when she heard Liam's voice answer in a serious sway "she said Tilly". Jen closed her mouth. Shit!

"Mum ... what... What happened?" Jen mumbled hoping to distract Liam's thoughts.

"you were involved in a nasty car accident sweet. A car drove into the side of you... And... Well you banged your head pretty hard" her mum had to stop to compose her voice as Jen could hear the emotion as she spoke. "Claire called us. She was behind you following in her car, she saw it all"

Claire? This didn't make any sense at all. Where was Tilly? Jen wanted so much to know what had happened to Tilly, to know that she was OK, but she couldn't speak anymore. All she wanted to do was sleep. A nurse came over to them and told them that they needed to let Jen rest now, and that she was in good hands and how they should go and get some rest. Jen's mind was racing trying take it all in. Her body ached so much from the crash, her heart ached from not knowing what had happened to Tilly. after her parents and Liam had left, the nurse gave Jen some pills and she soon fell asleep. As she closed her eyes she saw Tilly lying next to her in the jeep on its side covered in blood. A tear slowly ran down her cheek.

Early in the morning Jen was wheeled down out of the intensive care unit to have another head scan. As Jen lay there on the scanner bed, listening to the machine scan her brain, she was so scared. Her head hurt so much where she had banged it on the impact, it felt like it would explode from her skull. After 15 was the the scan was over and she was being wheeled back into ITU. When she got there, Laim was there waiting for her. "Alright sis?" Jen could tell he was worried, but was trying not to let on. She was his big sister after all.

Jen managed a weak smile. "Been better" she managed to croak. Her throat still so sore. She took a sip of water and closed her eyes. She couldn't wait any longer... She had to ask about Tilly... She had to know what had happened. She would tell Liam everything and hope that he wouldn't say anything to Diane. He had been very disapproving when he had first found out, but that was nearly a year ago, so surely he would see that what Jen felt for Tilly was the real deal. Liam as if being able to read Jens mind waited for the porters and nurse to leave the room before pulling up a chair to Jens bed. He picked up her good hand and slowly began speaking.

"Jen, you scared the living shit out of me!" He smiled. Seeing the tears start to form in Jens eyes he added "you're gonna be ok you know. You know how I know? Because you're a Gilmore and we're as tough as old boots". He paused before continuing "I know Jen. I know about you and Tilly. Claire told me". He looked at Jen in the face before adding "was she with you when it happened?"

Jen wiped a tear that was rolling down her face and slowly nodded "is she ... Is she OK. Is she... Alive?" Liam smiled and said the magic words "Jen she's not dead. I've not seen her, but she wasn't as badly hurt as you". Jen closed her eyes. Thank god. Thank god.

"Liam... I .. I love her you. Please ... don't say anything. Please?"


	26. Chapter 32

**Thanks very much for the comments... Of course I could kill of Jen! But they are not out of the woods just yet! Keep the reviews coming as lovely to know people are still reading this story. **

Tilly didn't sleep much after she put the phone down to Claire. She closed her eyes and pictured Jen with the tube coming out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth. Her mouth that she so longed to be able to kiss again. It was killing her that she couldn't be at the hospital. That they couldn't be open about their feelings. It was even worse by the thought of Claire being their with Jens family who Tilly had never met (with the exception of Liam). Tilly wondered who Jen was more like - her mum or her dad? Jen had said that she was pretty close to her dad who had been really supportive when she had come out to them, in fact her dad had taken it better than her mum and had worked hard to make his wife see that Jen was still their daughter.

At around 5am Tilly had admitted defeat and slowly got up out of bed letting out a groan as her body reminded her of its battered state after the crash. Sitting at her desk, she had made a list of all the reasons why she should and shouldn't go to the hospital and confess all. The urge to see Jen was just too great. At the end of the list it came down to their long term futures. Once it was out, news of their relationship, Jen would lose her job for sure, and Tilly really would be kicked out of college this time round. Sure they could be together, but not how they wanted. Not at such high costs - all of Jens hard work to get her degree, and with Tilly's a-levels were literally weeks away, it was too risky. The thought of the exams scared the life out of Tilly. What if after all of this she went and messed them up! What would their future be then?

Tilly looked at the list and then crumpled it up and threw it in the bin. Instead she decided that she would write a letter to Jen that she would give to Claire and ask her to pass it on to Jen the next time she saw her. Tilly was grateful to Claire for helping out when Tilly had called, but she didn't 100% trust Claire's motives. The fact that Claire had told Liam that Jen had feelings for Tilly could backfire of them... But maybe that what she wanted. Maybe she saw this as her opportunity to 'win Jen back'. Tilly told herself to have more trust in Jen. That if she had wanted to get back with Claire than she had already had the ideal opportunity. But what if Jen had suffered some sort of brain damage and didn't remember who Tilly was! You saw it on telly all the time. people who woke up from brain injuries and couldn't remember anything about their life prior to the accident. Tilly felt sick at the thought of it. Imagine having to see Jen and her not remember their love for each other... Remember the way Tilly's lips felt against hers... The way their bodies moved together. That, Tilly decided, would be torture. By the time Tilly had finished her letter it was nearly 7. In the letter she explained what had happened from her point of view after the accident, and how she had called on Claire to help out for the sake of their secret... Not because she didn't care! Tilly decided that she would have a shower and then go to the police station and get it over with. She couldn't really tell them much as she didn't see anything until she was lying on her side in the jeep. Having been flipped and carried down the road when the car skidded. The nurse at the hospital had told her that the driver who had jumped the lights was a suspected drink driver, who had by all accounts been drinking all afternoon. the nurse had added that he was in a bad way having been flown by air ambulance to Liverpool A&E. As Tilly walked to the police station she felt so angry at that man. At what he had done to her Jen. The pain he had caused her.

Tilly gave her statement to a officer who asked various questions like had Miss Gilmore been drinking at the time of the accident? Or was she distracted from the road at all? Tilly had got defensive and angry at the slight accusation that Jen was in anyway to blame for the accident. The young police officer explained that they had to ask these questions as a matter of course, and that there were enough witnesses to confirm the cause of the crash. Just as the interview was coming to an end, Tilly asked about the other drivers condition. The police officer hesitated slightly, before confirming that the driver of the car that had crashed into the had passed away last night from his injuries.

Tilly didn't quite know what to feel. Sadness? Anger? Loss? She felt all of them at hearing this news ... All of those feelings plus one more ... Need. She needed to see Jen. Tilly needed to see for her own eyes that she was OK... That she still remembered ... Still loved her! Tilly jumped on the bus and headed towards the hospital.


	27. Chapter 33

**Hope you like this chapter? **

Tilly stood outside the hospital, looking at the building in front of her, reconsidering her decision. What exactly would she say to Jens family? She was a concerned friend? What would Liam's reaction be towards her? What would Claire's be? Tilly swallowed hard before walking through the main entrance towards the intensive care unit... She was about to find out!

Once at the ICU reception Tilly hadn't banked on being told by the nurse that unfortunately only family were able to visit. When the nurse asked Tilly's relationship to Jen, Tilly had paused before responding "I'm ... I'm her girlfriend". It still felt weird to say that out loud to someone other than Jen. The nurse looked suspiciously at Tilly. Tilly looked back at her, realising the mess she must look. she looked shattered... Bruised with small cuts on her and the nurse thought she was about to cry. The nurse looked at her notes again "I'm really sorry, but ... But according to the notes I have from her family... Her girlfriend is called ... Claire... And... ummm, well, she's here already with the family". The nurse obviously felt uncomfortable at having to give this news to Tilly who stood silently at the reception desk as the nurse confirmed her worse fears. Claire had seized the moment.

As Tilly went to turn away from the reception desk she didn't see Liam watching her through the window of the relatives room. He stood and watched the nurse turn Tilly away. She had as he had suspected not been able to stay away, which is why he had told the reception that Claire was Jens girlfriend. His plan to keep them apart had worked. Jen might be his older sister, but he couldn't stand by and watch her ruin her career over some silly school girl crush. He didn't care what Jen had said to him about loving Tilly. Liam knew that like him, Jen had never really opened up to people, she kept her cards close to her chest.. To protect herself.

When Claire had called Liam to tell him about the accident he had called his dad instantly to tell him the news. They had then discussed whether or not to get in touch with their mum. His dad finally convincing him that she had a right to know... to be there in case anything bad happened. Jen, like Liam had taken the divorce hard... As a personal rejection on them, not just their father. It had taken them both a long time to realise that you shouldn't stay together for the sake of the kids, that you only have one life. Over the past five years or so, their mum had been trying to rebuild bridges between her children. There were the odd lunches and visits at Christmas. Her marriage to the guy she had had the affair with hadn't lasted long, and she had then spent her time trying make up for the past... to apologise for walking out on them all those years ago. Their dad had never remarried, and as Liam watched the two of them at Jens bedside yesterday he realised that was because his dad was still in love with her. She was beautiful like Jen, and he saw many qualities in Jen that their mum had. Jen hated it when Liam said she was like their mum... She didn't want to be that kind of person. The kind of person who put love before anything. Liam stood and watched Tilly walk away from his family, his sister. He was, in his own way, protecting Jen... For her own good. He was preventing her from turning into their mum!

Tilly couldn't face going home just yet, couldn't face a day of hiding away in the house, so she went to the hospital cafe and ordered a large coffee and found a seat from which to watch the world go by. She felt the letter to Jen in her pocket and realised she had been stupid to think that Claire would have passed it onto Jen, when she wanted her for herself. What an idiot Tilly had been, asking for her help. Tilly was furious at her school girl error. She remembered how Claire had convinced her not to come to the hospital, to stick by the plan... Well it all made sense now. No wonder!

Tilly was on her second coffee when she looked up at the sound of a familiar voice. Liam and what must be Jens mum, they looked so alike, were walking into the cafe. Tilly's heart was racing. What would Liam's reaction be towards her if he saw her? Tilly didn't know him well enough to be able to take the risk. Instead she sat there and watched as they queued up for coffee. Four cups Tilly noticed, one no doubt for that bitch Claire! As Tilly watched them leave the cafe she saw Jens mum say something to Liam before putting the coffees down on a table and walk away from him. Tilly's eyes followed the woman, followed her shinny hair, which whilst much shorter than Jens, and clearly dyed, still linked to the two women together. Tilly watched as she headed into the ladies toilets and she knew what she had to do. She had to speak to her, to tell her who she was... what Jen was to her... How much she loved her.

Making sure Liam didn't see her, Tilly quickly followed the woman into the toilets and stood by the sinks pretending to wash her hands, waiting for the woman to finish peeing. As Jen's mum walked towards the sink she noticed Tilly staring at her slightly. she started washing her hands, and in the mirror, saw the girl was still staring, so smiled at the young redhead. Just then the stranger started speaking

"Mrs Gilmore"? Tilly asked, knowing that she technically wasn't called that anymore after the divorce, but not knowing what else to start with. Then she added "I... I mean you're Jens mum right?"

The other woman, turned off the taps, shaking the water off her hands, turned towards the redhead and looked her in the face "I'm sorry dear, but have we met? Are you a friend on Jennifer's?"

Tilly swallowed hard, preparing for the hard part... "No. No unfortunately we haven't met before. My name is... It's ummm Tilly. Tilly Evans and... I'm.."

"Oh so YOU'RE Tilly" the woman had interrupted. She looked Tilly up and down before smiling and adding "Jen has always had excellent taste" she leant over and gave Tilly's arm a quick squeeze before continuing "you know your name was the first word she said, once she had woken up... After they had taken the tube out of her throat".

Tilly looked away from the woman, slightly embarrassed by her words. "How... How is she?" Tilly asked, scared of hearing the response in case it was bad. Her mum turned her attention back to the mirror and started running her hand through her hair, using her fingers as a comb. "She had another scan first thing this morning and now we're just waiting for the results to check if the swelling is going down. If it is then she could be moved out of ICT tomorrow. If ... If" she paused and looked at Tilly in the mirror "if not, then they will have to operate and may have to drill a hole into her skull to release the pressure". Tilly watched the older woman's face show the strain she was feeling. The worry. And Tilly saw Jens eyes in her mums face. Tilly saw the true feeling in her eyes, they way she could with Jen.

Whilst they were away snowed in at the cottage, Jen had really opened up to Tilly. Not only about her past, her feeling of rejection when her mum had left, and how that had made her react all these years later, but also of her feelings towards her mum now. Initially Jen had wanted nothing to do with her mum after her parents had got divorced, and their dad had been awarded custody of her and Liam. Tilly remembered Jen telling her how hard it was to think of her as a mum, especially when Jen had told her that she was gay and her mum had had a hard time coming to terms with it. Overtime they had formed some sort of relationship. It wasn't the typical mother/daughter relationship, but Jen saw her mum at least 4 times a year now and had even started sending mother day cards again.

"I can't tell you how scared I was when Liam called me. All... All I could think about was that I'm just starting to get her back as a daughter... And now she is being taken away from me" the tears were running down her face... now it was Tilly's turn to reach out. She walked towards the woman and placed her hand on her shoulder in support. "Jen does love you you know?" Tilly added. The woman brushed her hand against her face and put on a brave smile "not as much as she clearly loves you!" She turned to the mirror and started wiping the smudged mascara away from eyes "are you coming up to see her?" She said turning to look Tilly in the face "Liam's outside with coffee waiting now, probably wondering where I have got to!" Tilly wanted so much to say yes, but she knew it was too risky with Claire and Liam.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter. "Actually I can't right now. I have to go, but please can you make sure Jen gets this letter?" Tilly walked two paces towards the woman and handed the letter to her before adding "I... I hope you understand." Before turning and walking out of the toilet and straight out of the hospital main doors.


	28. Chapter 34

Tilly's mum shoved the letter into her handbag and finished checking her makeup. She was a little taken aback by the rushed manner Tilly had left, and wondered if she had said something wrong to offend the girl. Maybe they had had an argument or something and things hadn't been left on good terms? The girl certainly looked like she hadn't been sleeping much lately. Walking out of the bathroom she headed back over to where Liam was waiting. She could see he was annoyed at having had to wait for her for so long. She thought of her relationship with Liam and how he was struggling to let her back into his life, more so than Jen, but she guessed that was to be expected, him being 6ft 2 and 22 now. He could obviously look after himself and didn't need a mum! As she walked towards, smiling at him, she mouthed the word sorry, and quickly saw his anger fade. There was hope she thought. Hope that he would accept her fully back into his life again. As awful as this accident was, maybe it was just what the Gilmore family needed.

As Jens mum and Liam walked towards the lift with the coffees back up to the ICU, she was about to start telling him about her encounter with Tilly when his phone buzzed with a text message. Handing one of the coffees to his mum, he quickly checked the message. It was from his dad saying the tests results were back and that the doctor was waiting to see them. "Shit!" He exclaimed "the results are back and Doctor Lane is waiting for us. We'd better hurry" they both jumped in the first lift and made their way back to ICU and to the relatives room, praying for good news. Jen's mum forgot to mention about Tilly.

Claire had gone to the hospital first thing with a pair of pyjamas and toiletries for Jen. She wanted to stay around, but had decided that it was a family situation, and despite what she may have initially given the impression re her relationship with Jen, the truth was they had barely spoken to each other over the last year since they had split. When Claire had told Liam about Jen being in love with Tilly, she honestly didn't know how he would take the information. What he would think. When she had arrived at the reception to ICU she hadn't expected to have been let in, but it appeared they had her name down as an approved visitor. When she had arrived Jen was down having her scan so she had waited in the relatives room. Liam had shown up five minutes later and sat down next to her.

"How have you been Claire?" He asked "I mean its been what a year since you two broke up?"

Claire nodded. "Yeah about that. We bumped into each other recently and, well you know... Old friends and all that." Claire realised that her words sounded a bit vague, but she didn't know what else to say. She could hardly tell the truth - 'actually Liam I bumped into Jen with her student girlfriend, in my pissed off mind I thought it was be fun to film them making out and then send the pictures to the college principal for revenge for Jen dumping me'. That made her sound crazy!

Liam looked at Claire and Claire prepared herself for the question "Claire you said this morning that Jen had told you she loved Tilly. You DO mean Tilly Evans, her pupil right?"

"Errr... " Claire stalled she was making this up as she went along, she just hoped it didn't show "well, I don't think she mentioned her surname, but she can't know too many Tilly's. so I guess it must be the same one. Do you know her?"

Liam sighed "yeah I know her alright!" Claire could see the anger on his face "she's been chasing after Jen all year. When I first arrived in Hollyoaks Jen was clearly seeing someone. I initially thought that maybe you two had got back together."

"I should be so lucky!" The words came out of Claire's mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Liam looked at her and gave a sympathetic smile.

"When she told me that Tilly was her student, I just couldn't believe how stupid Jen was being. Risking her career over some stupid little school girl" he paused before continuing "anyway, they broke up in the summer and Jen assured me that that was it. That it was well and truly over between them." He shook his head "clearly it wasn't."

Just then a nurse walked into the room and explained that Jen had returned from her scan and that they could visit her in a few minutes. Liam stood up and said in a calm voice "I am not going to let my sister ruin her career over Tilly Evans". And with that he walked out of the room and left Claire thinking through the options, what she could have said to fight Tilly's corner. But a little bit of had told her that it wasn't up to her to plead the case for Tilly. The way Liam was talking, it sounded like it would need a lot of convincing.

When they had gone to see Jen it was the first time Claire had seen her awake. The first time she had been able to speak to her, but her family were right beside her and so it was impossible for her to Explain to Jen why she was there. That Tilly had called her and asked for her help after the accident, that she was OK and safe. Claire had tried to say this to Jen through her eyes, but Jen was still very groggy and sleepy and so after a hour or so sitting around waiting, Liam and his mum announced they were going for coffee. Claire said she wait for them to get back, but would leave them once the test results were back.

The doctor had gathered Jens mum, dad and brother in a small meeting room just off from the relatives room. He had a X-ray sheet of the brain scan which he pinned onto a light box on the wall. Switching the box on so it illuminated the X-ray, he proceeded to talk in a language, none of the completely followed, abouts Jens condition. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Using the tip of a pen he circled a shaded area near the right hand side of the skull. This he pointed out was the area that had received the greatest blow. He explained that most accidents happen from behind or front on, and now with automatic airbags, head injuries from car accidents were on the decline. Unfortunately, as in Jens case the impact of the other vehicle was side on, there was no such protection. Pausing to ensure everyone was still following him, he went to to explained that results from the second scan showed that there was no bleeding over night and that despite a small fracture to the skull, it appeared that the swelling HAD indeed gone down. The family let out a collected sigh of relief and Liam noted as his dad grabbed his mums hand and gave it a firm squeeze. Before they got too carried, the doctor continued and said they Jen would need to be closely monitored for at least another 72 hours, but that he was happy enough for her to be transferred from ICT to another ward where his could be arranged. The doctor added that he was confident that despite a large blow to the head, Jen had not sustained any noticeable brain damage, and that she should make a full recovery in time. He added as he got up to show them youth the room that their daughter was a very lucky girl!

Jen's mum and dad thanked the doctor before hugging each other and pulling Liam in for a group hug. Liam let a huge sigh. Hearing the good news had made him realise just had frightened he had been. It was a huge release. "Come on then" he said pulling away for the hug "let's go tell Jen the good news".

As they walked through the relatives room back to the ward, they passed on the news to Claire who appeared to be as equally happy. Claire asked them to send Jen her love and made her excuses. Just before she was about to leave the room, Jens mum came running after her. "Claire" she called out. "Will you pass on the news to Tilly?" And with a smile she had turned her back and was walking away, back to her family. Claire paused for a second. Did she know?

When Claire had made it to the hospital reception she pulled out her phone and started typing Tilly a message 'great news. Doctors have confirmed swelling going down. No need for operation. Hopefully she'll be on normal ward in a couple of days. I tired to let her know you are OK, but no time alone. Sorry. Will keep you posted. C

Tilly heard her phone buzz and checked the message from Claire. Ha! Tilly though. I'm sure you tried real hard.


	29. Chapter 35

**Couldn't sleep last night so wrote three chapters. This is the last one to be uploaded. Probably wont be able to post anything til next week, but I hope you like these chapters. Any comments/thoughts always welcomed. **

Jen spent most of the day sleeping. She didn't have the strength to stay awake for longer than 10 mins at at time. The nurses said this was very common with brain injuries, and that it was your body's way of healing itself.

When she was wake she tried to keep up with the conversation around her, but it was all to much. Her heart ached with a longing to see Tilly. To speak to her.. Or at least try and speak. She was getting better, but she was still only managing the odd word here and there.

When she had first woken and heard her mums voice a sense of relief flooded over her. Jen realised that she was happy her mum was there... That she wanted her mum around around. Wanted to feel her softness against the manliness of her dad and Liam which is what she had grown up with. Her mum sat with her now holding her hand whilst her dad and Liam had gone out to get some food.

"So earlier today I met a friend of yours."Her mum started " a certain redhead called Tilly". Jen's mum watched as Jen absorbed the information. She watched Jens eyes display.. What was that relief? Yes relief but then... worry?

"Was she OK?" Jen managed to get out, blinking to try and keep the tears forming in her eyes under control.

"We'll she looked like she hadn't slept in a couple of days, and she appeared to have some small cuts on her face, almost as if... oh I don't know... maybe she had been in car accident!"

Jen looked up at the ceiling to avoid her mothers gaze.

Jen ignored that last comment "what did she say?" Jen asked turned back to face her mother who was now reaching into her hand bag "oh she didn't stay long. She asked me to give you letter." Are you able to read it? Or .. Do you want me to read it to you?"

Jen knew she wasn't able to read it herself, but needed to know what Tilly had said, so had little option but to ask her mum to read it out to her. Just like she used to read her stores when she was little... before she walked out.

Jen's mum opened the letter and started reading

To my darling Jen,

If you are reading this then that is good news. It means that your heart is still beating, still beating I hope with love for me, as mine does for you. As it has done from the very first day I saw you.

I want so much to be there for you, to be siting there holding your hand, telling you this in person, but we both know why I cannot be there.

When I first saw you after the accident I thought I had lost you. I had just got you back, and now you were gone again. It was all too much to take. I was so scared. I wanted you to hold me in your arms and tell me that it would all be OK. That you would be OK.

We have been through a lot, and I think back to the words you used in your letter how you said you wouldn't change anything, even the hard times.. Well I think I now get what you mean. We are so much stronger now than we were before, we have both changed and I know deep down that you will pull through this. We will get through this - Team Jelly ;)

We have always had to hide our love. And after the accident I panicked and called Claire for help. She was the only one I could turn to. I didn't know what to do for the best. I hope you will understand why I did what I did. Why I put our future first over the present. I regret that decision. I should have stayed with you, called Liam myself and faced the consequences.

I wish we could turn things back, back to earlier yesterday on the beach. Our beach. I know we will go back there soon, will kiss again like we did that first time. If I close my eyes I can picture it so clearly, imagine you holding me so close, the warmth of your lips on mine, how the world just stopped for those split seconds.

That memory gets me through all the times we cannot see each other. I still have to pinch myself that you are my girlfriend, that you chose me over Claire, that soon our lives will begin fully in London.

I don't know when I will be able to see you, but I had to let you know that you are my life, and I don't know what I would if anything happened to you. So you get better real quick Jen Gilmore. You come back to me. Promise you will. Promise?

All my love Tilly x

Jens mum looked up at Jen and both of them were in floods tar sears just as Liam walked back into the room.


	30. Chapter 36

**Thanks for the lovely comments in chapter 35. Just a short one now, will write more on Sunday.**

Liam looked at Jen in floods of tears and then saw his mum sitting beside the bed, whipping her eyes

"Oh my god. What... What has happened. Has something bad happened?" Before they could answer Jen's dad walked into the room and saw the state of them all. Jen and his ex wife all puffy faced and red-eyed. His son Liam stood standing at the door looking worried. "What's happened?" He asked nervously.

Jen really didn't want the contents of Tilly's letter to become common knowledge, especially to liam, and so before her mum could open her mouth to respond Jen started speaking  
"Everything's fine. I'm fine. I just got really emotional and overwhelmed by all of your support... And the relief of what the doctor said about the swelling just hit me. I.. I don't know what I would have done without you all". Jen shot her mum a knowing look to indicate that she didnt want her brother or dad to know about the letter. Her mum picked up on the hint, and slyly hid the letter back in her bag.

"You old softie" Liam said moving towards Jen for a hug. "Fact is you have given us all the shock of our lives, but ...and as much as you annoy me sometimes, Correction, All the time...I would have missed you if you had died!" He smiled before adding "only a bit mind you!"  
Jen smiled at him, relieved to have defused a difficult situation. They all stayed chatting for a couple of hours before it became apparent that Jen was exhausted and then they left for the day to let Jen sleep, promising to return tomorrow.

Jen kissed her dad and brother goodbye and then watched as they left the room. Her mother hanged back until they had left before turning to Jen and looking at her in the eyes. "I know it's not really my place to give advice on love, and there is obviously more to this than I know, but you and Tilly clearly have strong feelings for each other. Do you want me to pass on a message?"

Jen nodded and smiled. "Mum it's such a mess, and I... I don't really know where to start.. It's a long story. The short of it is that I love her so much and need to see her. Can you please call and tell her to come tonight. I don't think I can go another night without seeing for myself that she is OK."

Her mum grabbed Jen's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Sure. I'll speak to her OK. You can tell me all about it tomorrow"  
Jen wrote down tillys number, and gave her mum a goodbye kiss and closed her eyes. The stress of the situation and then the emotion and relief at the thought of seeing Tilly was too much and Jen was fast asleep in minutes.

Tilly had spent the day at home nervously pacing around the house, unable to concentrate on anything. She had tried studying, tried watching a film, reading.. Nothing helped her relax. She couldn't help but worry about her letter. What if her mum had never given it to Jen. What if Liam had seen it and their secret was out. It had been weird seeing Jens mum at the hospital. Tilly had heard a lot about her, how her actions years ago when she walked out of the family, had made Jen struggle to open up. When Tilly had been speaking to her, she had seemed really nice and friendly. She looked much younger than her age and Tilly saw so much of Jen in her. Her hair, her eyes and smile.

Tilly's body still ached and the bruising was still coming out following the crash. It felt like ever hour there was a new bruise. She was sat at her desk trying to read up on biology, when her phone started ringing to a number she didn't recognise.

"Hello?"

" Tilly it's Sally here... Jen's mum"

"Oh god... Is everything OK?" Tilly asked her heart beating fast with fear.

"Yes, yes, it's all fine." Tilly felt a huge sigh of relief escape her body.

"Listen, Jen has asked me to call you to say that she would love to see you. I've arranged it with the hospital that you are allowed into the ward. It would mean the world to her if you were able to go and see her"

Tilly didn't hesitate "of course I'll go and see her.i'll go right now." Tilly was already out the door in her mind when she stopped and said " did.. Did she say anything else about me?"

"No. Not today, but I think I already know." Her mum paused before adding "you look after my daughter now. She... She isn't as strong as she makes out you know".

Tilly smiled "I know. We compliment each other really well. She makes me feel more free and I, well I'm a the security she needs after what happened." Tilly paused and felt bad for saying the last bit, but she had to be honest.

"I understand". There was a pause on both sides, before Tilly added. "Thank you for calling me Mrs.. Gilmore. I'm leaving right now."

Tilly's parent were still at work so she scribbled a quick note saying she would be back a before 10 pm, and then ran to the bus stop. On the journey to the hospital Tilly tried so hard to calm her nerves. she actually felt a bit sick at the thought of seeing Jen again. She was a little bit worried about how it would feel. She wanted nothing more than to told Jen in her arms and stroke her hair and whisper that it would all be OK, but she didn't actually know that for sure.


	31. Chapter 37

Tilly's parents were still out at work, so she quickly scribbled a note, letting them know she would be back before 10pm. Tilly grabbed a few things she thought Jen might like; some lip balm, her iPod, the photo Jen had given Tilly of Crosby beach, a pair of pyjamas, just little things. Tilly had ordered a cab, not being able to hold out for the time it would take to get there on the bus. She just wanted to see Jen so much. The last few days had been awful, not being there with her. When Jens mum had called she had wanted to scream with happiness.

Tilly quickly made her way up to the ICU ward and was greeted at the reception by the same nurse who had previously refused her entry. As Tilly approached the desk, the nurse smiled at her " hello. You must be Tilly right?" Tilly nodded before adding "yes I've come to see my girlfriend." The nurse explained that they were arranging moving Jen to an normal ward and just waiting to find a new bed for her so Tilly could stay until that happened. She buzzed Tilly through into the relatives room and Tilly walked through onto the ward and towards Jens bed.

When she got there Jen was fast asleep. Tilly didn't want to wake her so she sat down in the chair next to her and carefully place her hand overs Jen. Tilly looked at Jen with her broken arm, her bruised and cut face, tubes going into her arm leading to a drip. Tilly couldn't resist any longer she leant in towards Jen and placed her lips on her cheek and closed her eyes as she gave Jen a kiss. Jen moved slightly at Tilly's touch and slowly opened her eyes to be greeted by Tilly sitting beside her. Jen's heart felt like it would overflow. She was here.

"Tilly" Jen croaked, her voice a bit sleepy as she slowly moved position to be sitting up right "it's... It's so good to see you." Tears were forming in Jens eyes as she took in Tilly's cuts and bandaged arm "are.. Are you ok?" Tilly rubbed Jens hand that she was still holding and smiled at Jen "Jen, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Tilly paused before continuing "Jen I thought I was losing you. I... I was so scared when I woke up in the car you weren't there." Tilly had tears falling down her face as she looked at Jen "I... I'm sorry I wasn't here Jen. When you woke up. That I didn't stay with you... I.. I didn't know what to do for the best. I was so scared. Claire was the only person I could think of to call for help, but then..." Tilly stopped speaking.

"But then what?" Jen asked

"... But then I got worried. Worried that she would try and win you back. She's ... is still in love with you!" Tilly felt slightly embarrassed at her insecurities and looked down at her hand instead of Jens eyes before adding "so I came to the hospital to see you... But I wasn't allowed it."

Jen smiled at Tilly as she wiped a tear away from her face, and then her own face. "It's OK Tilly. I.. I understand, I was just so confused and worried about you. If you were OK, but I couldn't ask anyone." "And for the record... I love you Tilly Evans. I love you with all my heart. I don't want Claire. Or anyone else for that matter... I just want you."

Jen said running a finger over Tilly's cuts, and remembered back to the day of the fire. When she had discovered Tilly was a pupil at the college and not at University. When Mr Keeler had asked Jen to go in the ambulance with Tilly, Jen was so scared it was all going to come out. Their kiss on the beach, and that it would be the end of her career before it had even really started. Jen remembered thinking then that she should have just walked away then, but she couldn't. Her attraction for Tilly was too great. As they sat there waiting for her parents to arrive and Jen drew Tilly's lips, Jen was falling in Love. Those plump, perfectly formed rose coloured lips.

"I don't actually remember what happened Tilly." Jen said changing the subject to the accident. "The last thing I remember is us singing along to the radio. And then, then I woke up here with my Mum, dad, Liam and Claire in the room." She paused "and all I wanted to know was if you were OK. For someone to tell me you hadn't been hurt... Been injured".

Tilly squeezed Jens hand again before filling Jen in on what she knew. She told Jen about her visit to the police station and that they would be interviewing her soon now that she was on the mend. "The man who hit us... He... He died Jen". Jen stared at Tilly as she took in the information, "oh god. That's awful. It could have been us Tilly. We could have been killed". The thought made them both scared. Scared but also incredibly grateful for the lucky escape they had had. Sure they were black and blue, broken arm, cut faces, but they would recover. That man was dead.

"We're so lucky." Tilly added "I don't care anymore about what people think about us. I nearly lost you. You could have died, and... and I don't know what I would have done then." Tilly leant over to Jen and gave her a hug. She wanted to hold Jen to feel her in her arms before whispering "I can't imagine my life now without you in it Jen. You have become such an important part of my life.. of me!" Tilly looked Jen in the eyes before adding "you are my world".

Just then they heard the sound of footsteps approaching the room and Tilly pulled away and sat back down thinking it must be a nurse coming to check on Jen, or move her to another ward. They both looked over towards the door and whilst still holding hands, their relief at being together again, of them both being safe, was quickly forgotten when then saw Liam walk though the door.


	32. Chapter 38

**Had some lovely feedback front he last couple of chapters, feel dead chuffed that people are still reading. Bit of a short chapter here on what happened next with Liam.**

Tilly looked at Liam's face and stood brave. The crash and the death of the man had put things into perspective. Tilly could have lost Jen, if she had hit her head any harder then she could have died, or suffered brain damage. Tilly had made a promise to herself that she wasn't going to be scared anymore. Scared of people knowing about her and Jen. Liam looked at Jen and sneered "I knew it. I knew something was still going on." Liam turned his head towards Tilly and said "you don't give up do you! I don't know how you got in here, but I think it's best if you leave don't you." He stepped forward to make way for Tilly to leave, but Tilly stayed standing where she was. "You've no place here Tilly. Jen needs her family now, not some stupid school kid with a crush on her. You are going ..." Jen had had enough. "Shut up Liam". she said interrupting him mid sentence. "How dare you speak to her like that!" Tilly didn't think this stress was good for Jen "Jen, it's OK. Lets leave it huh? I .. I can come back later'" Jen looked over at Tilly and shook her head, before turning and facing Liam "No Tilly. No it's not OK. It is not acceptable for Liam, who knows fuck all, to speak to you like that!"  
Liam went to speak, but Jen refused to give him a chance to get the words out."Liam, You've got it all wrong. Tilly isn't stalking me, in fact if anything I'm the one who has been the stupid one in the relationship, but you need to hear this... you need to know the truth. We're in love. I love Tilly. And you know what, I'm not apologising about it - or hiding it anymore." Jen grabbed Tilly's hand on hers as a sign of their strength to Liam who was standing their staring back at Jen."I let you and Diane talk me out of it before and I nearly lost Tilly because of that. Because I followed my head instead of my heart, but I'm not lying anymore Liam. I could have died. And then what huh? What would have been the point?"

Liam walked towards the bed, towards Jen "Jen...I..."

Again Jen refused to listen "you what Liam? You are just looking our for me?" She paused and closed her eyes, she suddenly felt ever so tired "I know what I'm doing Liam. We both know the consequences of this, Tilly has so much to lose as well, but the bottom line is we can't help it. We HAVE tried to stop, but it never lasts long." Jen paused thinking about the past year and all the times her and Tilly had broken up, they pain they had caused each other. She never wanted to go there again. "You and mum and dad are going to have to just get used to this, to us... Because trust me, I'm not losing her again".

Tilly felt so much love for Jen hearing her speak of their love to her brother like that. Hearing her say that she didn't want to lose Tilly again. Tilly turned to Liam and added "look Liam, I know it's messed up, but the fact is I leave hollyoaks in a couple of weeks and then that's it. I'm finished and I'm off to Uni. Jen and I are going to have a life there regardless of what you think, ... Or say!" Tilly paused and looked at Jen before adding, although obviously we would prefer it if you were happy for us, rather than against us!"

Liam moved towards an empty chair on the other side of the room and sat down, composing his thoughts. He looked at the two women and could see their desire and fight for their relationship. As much as he worried about Jen, about the damage this would do if it ever came out, he couldn't deny the obviously bond between them. He sighed, turned to look at his sister with her bruised face and broken arm and spoke "OK. I can see I'm not gonna win this one. 2 against 1 is not good odds. Tilly I'm sorry I spoke to you like that earlier, I just am worried for Jen and trying to look out for her ... But... But I guess she maybe doesn't need my help as much as I thought!"

He gave a soft smile as he looked at Jen, "Jen I don't want to fight with you, I was just trying to do the right thing... For you... Your career". He paused before adding " if this is what you really want, then I guess who the fuck am I to say no to it?"


	33. Chapter 39

**Hope you don't mind, but I'm skipping forward a few days now to when Jen is released from hospital.**

Jen had been stayed in hospital for another three days until they were fully happy that there was no risk of bleeding in the brain. Jen couldn't wait to get home. It had been decided that she would go home to her dads for a few weeks to recuperate. Her dad lived two hours train journey and so the plan was for Tilly to come and visit at weekends.

Jen and Tilly had told her parents about the situation the day after they had told Liam. Again they had shared all of his worries, but seeing the two of them together as a team, it was clear to her dad that there really wasn't much to that could be said to break them up. They seemed united.

It felt great that Jens family knew the truth about her and Tilly and she was lucky to have them. Claire had visited Jen a couple of times and Jen had thanked her for all her help, and for 'being on their side' despite of everything. They promised to see more of each other, as friends, and Jen had genuinely been happy to had claire as a friend back in her life.

Tilly had visited Jen every day, but was also aware that she had to stay focused on her studies, which had been impossible when she had been worrying about Jen so much. One good thing came out of Jen being in hospital, lots of early nights which obviously pleased her mum. Tilly wished she could tell her parents about them too. She hated having to lie to them, but they had agreed that whilst they were both sick of lying and hiding their true feelings, they would carry on for just a couple more months until Tilly exams were over. Jen had explained to Tilly that she was prepared to face the consequences at work, that she was tired of not being able to be 'real'. As tempting as it was to Tilly, being the more practical one of the two, she had made Jen see that it was too much to risk, for such a short time, and that their life in London would be so much better if they could get through the remaining time without it coming out.

So that's what happened. The police came and interviewed Jen and explained that she was not being charged and that as far as they were concerned the case was closed. Jen had seen someone in the bed next to her reading the in local newspaper. the story about the crash was headline news on the front page, along with a picture of her beloved Jeep all bashed up. The police had also brought in some things from the car which had been taken to a scrap yard as it was too damaged to be repaired. Amongst the belongings were her camera which had been smashed. Luckily she was able to get the memory card out save the pictures she had taken from their day at the beach. That day had been blissful. Perfect. Jen just wanted to rewind and maybe have left five minutes earlier so the crash had never happened.

Diane came and visited with some flowers and told Jen that Mr Keeller and all the staff at the college sent their love. Diane had explained that it was of course understood that she wouldn't be back into college this term again due to her injuries and that a substitute teacher had been found. Jen felt bad walking out on her students so near their exams, but most of them had nearly finished their coursework now, it would hopefully not impact on their grades. Jen had explained to Diane that she would be staying with her dad until she felt stronger, and Diane had agreed that was the best option and offered to come and visit.

So five days after the crash Jen was finally on her way home. It was a Saturday and so Jen had asked if Tilly would come with her and stay the night. Tilly had of course immediately said yes, especially as her mum and dad were away visiting friends so she wouldn't have to tell another lie.

Jen's dad drove her round to Diane's and waiting in the car as Jen packed a bag of clothes and her laptop. Her broken arm meant that she wouldn't be doing any drawing for a bit, so she took a couple of books she had been meaning to read for ages. After saying goodbye to Diane, Sinead a even gave her a hug! Jen jumped in the car and they drove round to pick Tilly up.

After a two hour drive they arrived at The family home. The home when Jen had grown up. It had been a happy childhood, up until her teens and Jen was please that Tilly was here to see where she had spent a big part of her life. Jen's dad carried their bags up to Jens room and then made his excuses. He said he was going to meet some friends down the pub and would be gone for hours. Jen smiled at him in thanks, knowing that he didn't really go to pubs, but that he had arranged something especially so they could be alone.

They were sitting in the living room waiting to hear the bang of the door. Their hearts pounding. Their desire had been growing in the car and each look they gave each other made it worse! Since the accident there had always been people around, nurses, doctors, patients, family, friends. Now, finally, they were alone


	34. Chapter 40

**So here's a happy chapter which I hope you approve of. I'm thinking of making this the last Chapter as when I started this little story, I never thought it would lead to 40 Chapters! Jen and Tilly should have been together in HO, and there are lots of great long standing fanfiction to keep the dream alive. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. Long live Jelly x**

Once they heard the door close Tilly got up from her seat and stood up in front of Jen and looked at her. "You know Miss Gilmore?" Tilly teased "I think that journey has taken it out of you. You look like you need an early night!" Tilly held out her hand before adding "may I take you up to your room and Fuck.. i mean TUCK you into bed?" Tilly looked at Jen face on and playfully bit her bottom lip.

Jen smiled at Tillys joke and felt a throb between her legs, but played along and let out a pretend yawn "mmmm you know what? You are right. I am all of a sudden feeling the need to lie down in bed. It... It just CAME over me!" Tilly smiled and continued with the game "oh I know how that can happen. How it can COME on so quickly" Jen stood up and placed her hand in Tilly's and without saying anything else they climbed the stairs to Jens bedroom. As soon as they were in the room and the door was closed Jen pulled Tilly gently into her arms and buried her head into Tilly's neck. She let out a small groan "god I've missed you so much. Missed being able to touch you. Smell you."

The contact with Jen at last was so overpowering for Tilly she could already feel herself begin to shake as she felt Jens breath in her neck. Jen gently kissed Tillys neck and whispered "I want you so much Tilly. I.. I always want you!" Tilly ran her hand down Jens back before it came to rest on her bottom. She playfully gave it a slap and smiled as Jen pulled her head up from Tilly's neck in protest "hey! What did I do to deserve that?" Tilly thought back to a time in the shack when they had met and Jen had been really turned on, but Tilly was unable to stay and finish the 'job'. Jen had got her revenge later that day, and the two of them had ended up feeling sexual frustrated.

Jen was still not 100% and so whilst kissing Tilly she took the lead and without breaking their kiss, walked them over to Jens bed when they collapsed in a heap together. Their love making was slow and tender. As they removed layer after layer of clothes from each other, they examined each others bruises. Tilly's left side was purple all the way down her body. Jen's chest was a deep purple, almost black with bruise. Jen carefully placed kisses on all of Tilly's bruises. Luckily there was one part of Tilly that wasn't bruised and soon Jen slide down the bed and placed her lips on Tilly's mound. Tilly let out a groan as Jen kissed and sucked and used her tongue to explore Tilly, to bring Tilly to a peak of passion quickly. "Yes Jen, there... Oh god... just there... Mmmmmmm I'm ... oh fuck ... I'm gonna cum". And with that Tilly's body exploded as her orgasm took hold of her.

Jen held Tilly tightly as she felt her body buck with the power of her orgasm. Jen loved the fact that she did that to Tilly. That she made Tilly's body react that way. Her touch, her fingers, her lips turned Tilly on so much. Jen made her way back up the bed so they were lying on their sides. Jen was thirsty after that so She quickly pulled on a dressing gown and run downstairs to get some water. When she came back Tilly was sat up right crossed legged on the bed. Jen climbed on the bed and sat in front of Tilly, with her back towards her, Tilly wrapped her arms around Jen and gentle kissed her neck. Jen was so turned on she knew it would take long for her to reach orgasm, and she took matters into her own hands by taking Tilly's hand and placing it between her legs.

Tilly didnt need any further encouragement as she slowly rubbed Jen, hearing a moan in her ear. With her free hand Tilly reached round and gently teased Jen's erect nipples. "Are you ok? " Tilly whispered, aware that Jen still wasn't 100% fully fit "is it too much?" Jen turned her face sideways and kissed Tilly "yes!" She said in between kisses as Tilly's head moved up and down, in and out getting faster. "I... I mean yes..yes I'm fine. And don't you fucking dare stop!" She groan "mmmmmm don't. stop." Tilly smiled and let out a little laugh. To think she nearly lost all this, nearly lost Jen. The thought scared her so much. Tilly was convinced she would never have found this with anyone else, found this intensity. Jen's groan brought Tilly back to reality. Jen sat back, leaning against Tilly's body, this time her hand pulled Tilly's away from in between her legs, indicating Tilly's touch was now too much! Tilly engulfed Jen in her arms and could feel her trying to regain her breath as her chest moved in and out with each deep breath.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Tilly placing gentle kisses over Jens shoulders, her perfect, but slightly bruised and battered shoulders. Jen felt so happy there. Feeling Tilly's body supporting her behind her, her arms wrapped protectively around Jen. She felt safe. After the accident and the stay in hospital, the worry of the last couple of weeks with Claire and then Liam, it was a nice feeling.

Jen started to move off the bed and went into get handbag to get her phone. She texted her dad to say that they had gone to bed and he could come home from the pub. Two minutes later they heard the front door open downstairs. Anyone would have thought her dad had been sitting in his car on the drive way. Jen smiled and thought how lucky she was have a dad like him, and a girlfriend like Tilly as she climbed into bed.


	35. Chapter 41

**Hello everyone. Thanks so much for all your lovely messages. I'm sorry I had to end the story the way I did. Was struggling to find the time to write and also the inspiration as to where to take the story. Today I reread the last chapter and decided that the ending was a bit rubbish, so here is a proper finish to the story. **

**I might start another one in a bit. Picking up after the last ever Jelly scene, as it was totally rubbish how things ended. Anyway, I hope you like this wrap up chapter. **

The month after the accident dragged for both of them. Jen stayed at her dads and Tilly came up at weekends. Jen preferred the peace and quiet of her dads than the madness of Dianes. They missed each other massively, but knew it was the best thing long term. During the week Tilly studied hard and then on Tuesday and Thursdays they usually caught up with each other over Skype. In between there were hundreds of text messages of love.

The college had been good and confirmed that they didn't expect to see Jen back before the end of term, which gave her plenty of time to look for a new teaching position. During their long Skype chats they discussed the future. Tillys exams would be over in two weeks time, at which point they agreed that they were in a position to be open about their relationship, as their relationship would no longer be professional. The plan was for Jen to find a position in London so the two of them could be together. It would be a fresh start for them. Tilly was dreading Telling her parents about her relationship with Jen. She loved her mum and dad dearly, but they were quieter traditional in their ways, and Tilly knew they would have difficultly with the news. Tilly knew George would be cool with it, she wasn't so sure about Esther and Ruby. Sinead would go nuts! Tilly could just hear her now " urgh.. What ya doin shagging her for?The whingy old cow!"

One Friday they had gone down to London as Jen had an interview at an art college, and so they had decided to make a weekend of it and look at possibly areas of town to live. Jen had booked them into a hotel and arranged to meet up with an old Uni friend of hers who had moved to London after they had finished their degree. Tilly's mum hadn't been happy about her daughter going away so near her exams, but Tilly had reassured her that it was the best thing as she needed a break after all they studying she had been doing. Tilly was confident she would get the necessary a-level grades to secure her place at Uni.

On the train down Tilly had asked Jen interview questions to help her prepare. She looked beautiful in a bright blue shift dress and cream jacket, she still had her plaster cast on her arm, but other than that her injuries from the crash had all but gone. The job was at an art college in North London, and sounded perfect for Jen. The starting salary was around £28,000, which with Tilly's accommodation money would give them enough money to find a small two bedroom flat to rent.

The two of them had often talked about how great it would be living together. They had joked that Jen would cook for them, and Tilly would clean up after as she had mild OCD when it came to tidiness. Their desire to be together all the time, outweighed any concerns the two of them had. It was a big step moving in together, but they had grown so much closer after the crash, they knew they could work things out.

The interview had gone well and Tilly had waited with their bags in a near by pub. She had a large glass of wine waiting for Jen as soon as Jen had texted to say it was over and she was on her way. The two of them sat there talking through the interview, what questions they had asked, what did the college look like, getting excited for the future. Jen tried to not get carried away, but she REALLY wanted the job. They finished their drinks and then went to check into their hotel. It wasn't anything fancy, but was perfect for their needs, in that it had a huge double bed!

As soon as they closed the bedroom door they were in each others arms, kissing, touching each other. They crashed onto the bed and were soon ripping each others clothes off. The sex had been fast and furious, releasing the tension they had both been feeling, Jen from the interview, and Tilly from studying so hard. Afterwards they laid naked In each others arms, looking into each others eyes, enjoying the feeling of satisfaction and release that was flooding through their bodies. After showering they got dressed and then headed into town.

They were going to Soho to check out some gay bars and Just as they were about to leave their room, the college rang Jen with the good news that she had got the job. The two of them jumped for joy and agreed that they really had something to celebrate. They went to the GAY bar and after numerous vodkas, spent the night dancing away to cheesy music. It feel so free, so liberating to be able to kiss each other whenever they wanted, to wrap their arms around each other.

Tilly had noticed a couple of girls checking Jen out, and had smiled with pride knowing that Jen was with her. That Jen loved Tilly. Tilly remembered back to the moment on Abersoch beach when they had gone skinny dipping and had then ran back up the beach. Tilly had felt so alive that day and she had made Jen promise that it would always be like that. This was how Tilly felt then. Standing there in a bar in Soho in London not caring who saw them kiss, as to these people they were strangers. strangers who didnt know their past. didn't know their relationship was illegal in the eyes of the law! to those people in that bar, Jen and Tilly were just two girls in love. What was wrong with that?

**The end.**


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